


Angel with no Wings

by CastielMorningstar



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accidents, Caring Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural) Gets New Clothes, Castiel Deals With Human Emotions, Castiel Has Nightmares, Castiel Has Self-Esteem Issues, Castiel in the Bunker, Comforting Dean Winchester, Crying Castiel, Dean Winchester Helps Castiel, Dean Winchester Teaches Castiel About Sex, Dean Winchester Teaches Castiel to be Human, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Firsts, Fluff and Angst, Human Castiel, Hurt Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Mild Smut, POV Third Person, Protective Dean Winchester, Slow Build, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Virgin Castiel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-05-03 19:18:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14575848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielMorningstar/pseuds/CastielMorningstar
Summary: *SPOILERS FOR SEASONS 1-9*A fic about Human!Castiel and how he adapts to his new needs/wants etc. It is Destiel but there are parts where it is less present, so non-shippers could probably enjoy most chapters.The mood will change by chapter, some will be darker and more angsty, some will be fluffy and adorable and I plan on at least one smut chapter, but there could be more (They will not be really explicit though).That's pretty much it, enjoy!





	1. Castiel has Fallen

It was a late, Thursday night when the angels fell. 

To normal humans it just looked like a meteor shower, but to hunters or other supernatural creatures, they knew they were angels.

After Metatron took his grace, rendering him human, Castiel had also gotten pulled into the fall.

It was a horrible feeling, plummeting millions of feet from the sky down to the uncertainty of the earth. As he fell, Castiel was feeling nothing but pure terror pulsing through his body. He managed to close his eyes when he got close to the ground, bracing for the certain death that would occur as soon as he crash landed.

Castiel however ended up luckily landing in a lake nearby the bunker, so once he had clambered out, thankfully only bruised and short of breath, it only took him a short walk in order to reach the closest place he now had to a home.

He knocked on the solid iron door with a trembling fist. He was soaked in cold water from head to foot, and it was late November, so needless to say, the new human was freezing cold.

Dean was the one who answered, which Castiel was grateful for. He liked Sam a lot too, but Dean was the brother that Castiel was closest to. The hunter’s eyes grew wide as he took in Castiel’s appearance. He was completely soaked, dirty and had a bloody nose.

“Cas…you look like hell, what happened?” he quickly guided the weak man into the bunker and closed the door behind him.

Castiel had been experiencing human emotions since the fall too, and they were very overwhelming for the new human. As an angel he had felt emotions but not as strong as this. The whole walk here he had been fighting back tears, as that seemed to be a human’s response when they were overwhelmed with emotions, and Castiel definitely was. Fear, shame, grief, anxiety. They all coursed through his body, and the defensive response his body gave was tears.

So when Dean asked what happened, all the emotions came crashing back down on him even harder than before. He felt the physical sensations warning him of the approaching tears first, his face got very hot, his nose and eyes began to sting, and his throat clogged up. He stared down at the ground as his vision became blurry and he tried his hardest to hold the tears back but he failed, and the liquid quickly escaped his eyes and began to trickle down his face.

Dean recognized the physical signs immediately. He’d been human long enough to know when someone was upset, and Castiel clearly was. It was so unusual to see the usually stoic angel suddenly so emotional, but Dean didn’t hesitate in comforting him.

“Hey, Cas. What’s wrong?” he asked softly and stepped closer to the man and gently put a reassuring hand on his shoulder which just set Castiel off, and a soft sob escaped his mouth in response.

“Shit.”  Dean immediately moved to encase Cas in his arms, holding him tight against his chest despite the fact that he was soaked.

As soon as Dean hugged him, the dam inside Castiel burst forth and he began to cry heavily, his chest heaving as sobs wracked his body, his face becoming as soaked as his clothes, as the tears just kept coming. Dean held him the whole time, gently rubbing his back and trying hard not to get teary himself. It was awful to see the man that he’d relied on for so long, act so vulnerable.

“It’s okay Cas, just let it out.” He whispered to the man, not wanting him to internalize these feelings like he did himself. It wasn’t healthy, and he didn’t want Castiel to follow his own unhealthy ways.

Sam, having heard all the commotion, had entered the map room and stood near the bottom of the stairs, watching the event unfold. Dean saw him and just shook his head to tell him not to say anything. Right now Castiel just needed comfort, not to be pushed to say what was wrong, which Sam may attempt to do. The younger brother nodded and left again, but Dean could tell he was concerned.

Around five minutes passed before Castiel was able to calm himself down. He was still in a bit of a state as he pulled away from Dean; his eyes still watery and red, tear tracks etched on his face, uneven breaths still emanating from his mouth. He roughly rubbed at his face with his wet coat sleeve, failing to properly dry his face. Dean noticed how the man’s blue eyes darted every which way, avoiding Dean’s green eyed gaze.

“Cas, look at me buddy.” Dean asked then sighed as Castiel continued to stare at his shoes “Please.” At last Castiel looked up and bloodshot blue eyes met concerned green. “Good.” Dean kept one hand on Castiel’s shoulder, still wanting to give him some comfort.

Castiel sniffled pathetically, struggling to keep his eyes locked on Dean; he felt so ashamed of himself. Dean noticed this and began to make gentle rubbing motions on the man’s shoulder “Hey Cas, don’t feel bad. It’s okay to cry, don’t be embarrassed.” He assured him in a soft voice he usually only reserved for Sam.

The ex-angel let out a sigh and nodded slightly, but still looked quite upset as he looked at Dean and finally began to talk, “I know...but-“ he stopped as Dean gave him a ‘stop talking’ look and then mumbled, “The angels…they fell…because of me and…” Castiel felt his throat getting clogged with tears again and he took a few deep breaths to calm himself and prevent from bursting into tears again. “Metatron he…he tricked me…the spell was to eject the angels from heaven…not help it.” He took another breath “So now I’m…I’m-“

“Human.” Dean interjected as he noticed Castiel struggling to finish his sentence. The man nodded sadly, confirming that Dean was right.

Dean looked at Castiel sadly. It must be so tough for an angel of the lord to be changed into a lowly human. “Cas…I’m so sorry.” He really didn’t know what else to say or do to make this awful situation better, however he vowed to help Castiel with this difficult transition and make it as easy and comfortable for him as possible.

A silence hung in the air for a minute or so as the two men just stared at each other, then Dean spoke up again, “Why don’t you go take a warm shower?” he suggested as he took in Castiel’s shivering, wet and dirty form. Castiel gave a quiet nod and began to go down the stairs before stopping, “Dean I…don’t know where the shower is.”

Dean internally kicked himself. Of course Castiel didn’t know where the shower was, he’d never had use for that information before so he’d just never told the man. “Oh yeah my bad, here I’ll show you.” He followed him down the stairs and then led him down a few hallways until they reached a door at the end of one, “Here ya go, the bathroom. Showers and toilets are both in there, as well as shampoo and soap to wash yourself, and towels." Dean explained and the man silently nodded, taking in the information and then stepping into the room without another word, closing the door behind him.

Once inside, Castiel just looked around the room. It was clearly a communal bathroom, intended for use by many people at once. The showers and toilets were both in private stalls along the left and right walls, with sinks lining the back wall. Upon his inspection, the man noticed a shelf near the door that contained all sorts of products that Castiel assumed he needed for showering. He grabbed a bottle of shampoo, a bottle of shower gel, a towel, and a new sponge. Now he had his supplies, the new-human then stripped off his clothes and entered one of the stalls. The controls on the shower were another obstacle and it took Castiel a minute or so to navigate those and find a temperature that was comfortable for him, and when he finally figured that out he stepped inside and sighed contently as the warm water cascaded down his cold body, warming him up quickly.

While Castiel was in the shower, Dean went and found Sam,who was in the library as per usual. “Hey Dean, what was up with Cas? Was he…crying?” Sam asked as soon as Dean entered the room, standing from his chair with a concerned expression.

Dean sighed and walked to Sam’s side, “He was because…he’s human now. Metatron, that dick, tricked him into doing a spell which cast all the angels out of heaven, including himself.” Sam looked at Dean with wide eyes. That was not the answered he’d been expecting. “Really? That must be really hard.” 

Dean nodded “Yeah, he’s in the shower right now, and I’m going to bring him some of my clothes to change into, cause his are wet and dirty and mine would fit him better than yours. He’s gonna be a bit of a mess for a while so just…be patient with him.” He realized how caring he was acting towards Castiel, but he felt the need to protect him now that he was human and vulnerable.

Sam noticed this sudden protectiveness and smiled a little bit to himself. God it was so obvious to him how in love Dean was with Cas, and this worry over him just further proved it. “Yeah course. So what, you’re gonna be his mentor? Teach him how to be human?” Dean shrugged, having not really thought that far ahead yet, “I mean I guess. You can help too if you want but it might be a bit…embarrassing for him and y’know cause we have a ‘profound bond’ or some crap, he might prefer I help. No offense to you though, Sammy.” He babbled somewhat nervously, trying to defend his caring attitude like he always did when he appeared ‘soft’.

“Profound bond, yeah sorry I forgot about that.” Sam chuckled slightly, teasing his brother and Dean’s cheeks pinkened very slightly. There was a somewhat awkward silence before Dean broke it, announcing, “I need to go get Cas those clothes. If you want to start making dinner or something that would be nice. He’s probably hungry, god knows I am.” Sam nodded and stood up, turning to head to the kitchen when Dean stopped him, “And no rabbit food, Cas needs something filling.” Sam rolled his eyes slightly “Yeah yeah, no salad okay got it.”

“Good.” Dean watched his brother sigh then head for the kitchen, and then he went to his room. Once there he rifled through his closet to find something that Castiel might like. Luckily they were of similar size, with Dean just being slightly taller than the ex-angel, so most of his clothes would fit him. He also wanted something comfortable because it was late and Castiel was probably tired and would want to sleep soon, so he chose something that could double as pyjamas; some grey sweatpants and a black AC/DC shirt. After hesitating for a moment, Dean grabbed a pair of boxers too and tucked them under the shirt. Sharing underwear wasn’t something he was keen to do, but the other man had no other clothes besides his wet and dirty ones, and Dean didn’t really want him going commando in his sweatpants.

Just as Dean was heading for the bathroom, Castiel was finishing up in the shower. He rinsed off the soap from his body and the sponge then turned the shower off and grabbed the towel which he’d hung over the shower curtain, wrapping it around his lower half and stepping out of the stall.

“Cas? You done? I have clothes for you.” Dean called through the door, knocking softly on it.

The man opened the door, not minding that he was shirtless because his lower body was covered. “Hello Dean, yes I am done.” He spoke, his spirits clearly lifted merely by his new found cleanliness and warmth.

Dean bit his lip as Castiel opened the door, revealing him standing there in nothing but a towel. He felt his throat grow tight and he swallowed hard, trying not to stare at the man’s muscular, tanned and hairless torso. “Hey Cas, I um brought you these clothes to wear seeing as yours are all gross. You only need to borrow them today and some tomorrow, we’ll go out tomorrow and buy you some more clothes.”

Castiel titled his head slightly as he took the clothing pile, not understanding why he needed more clothes, “But one set of clothes is plenty enough for me, Dean.” Dean was quick to shake his head, “Not anymore Cas. Your clothes can’t fix and clean themselves anymore, so you need more than one set of clothes. Plus it’s gross to wear the same clothes every day now you’re a human and you can smell and stuff.” He explained and the other man seemed to understand.

“Oh okay, but may I please keep my old clothes? They hold importance to me.” He set Dean’s clothes on one of the shelves and scooped up his soiled clothes that had been in a pile on the floor. He handed them to Dean who nodded, “Of course Cas, I’ll get Sammy to wash them and you’ll get them back by tomorrow.”

"Thank you, Dean." Castiel spoke softly "I really appreciate your kindness."

Dean shrugged, giving Cas a soft pat on the shoulder, "Sam and I are your family Cas, we're here to help you. No matter if you're an angel or not, we'll always be here."

The smallest smile appeared on the face of the ex-angel as he nodded, clearly appreciating the words, "Thank you, Dean." he said and then closed the door.


	2. First Meal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty much just about Cas' first meal with the Winchesters in the bunker, and he learns some more things about what being a human will involve.  
> This chapter is a bit shorter but the next will be longer.

While Castiel got dressed, Dean proceeded to the kitchen where he could smell something wonderful cooking. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it was definitely not salad, so he was happy.

“Whatcha making, Sammy?” Dean asked as he entered, looking at the various pots on the stove.

“Spaghetti. I felt it was a good dish to start Cas off with the whole eating thing, seeing as it encompasses meat, carbohydrate and vegetables-“

Dean sighed dramatically “All I heard was meat, so I’m happy and he will be.”

Sam rolled his eyes as he turned off the heat on the stove now everything was finished cooking. “How is Cas now? Do you know?”

Dean watched Sam as he began to plate up the meal, licking his lips hungrily, “Uhh yeah he’s okay I guess. I mean he’s probably not okay, but he seems to feel a bit better now he’s clean and dry.”

Sam nodded as he spooned some sauce over one of the plates of spaghetti “I can imagine, well I hope this might help him too.”

“Oh yeah definitely, being hungry sucks.” Dean replied then just as Sam was plating up the last plate of food, Castiel walked into the kitchen and Dean swore his heart stopped for a minute.

Dressed in his sweatpants and AC/DC shirt, which were both slightly too big on the shorter man, Castiel frankly looked adorable in Dean’s opinion. He didn’t even realize he was staring until Sam thumped him on the arm.

“Dude what the hell?!”

Sam rolled his eyes once more, “Cas just asked you a question, but you were too busy making heart eyes to notice.”

Dean blushed deeply, “I-I was not making heart eyes…I just zoned out for a minute.” He lied awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck before reluctantly looking back to Castiel, not quite able to meet his eyes, “Sorry buddy, what did you ask?”

Castiel didn’t really understand what ‘heart eyes’ meant so he was unaffected by the comment, and just repeated his question, “I was asking if you had another layer because I’m a bit cold.”

“Oh, yeah. Here.” Dean shrugged off the black and red flannel that he was wearing and handed it to the man, “I’m not cold and I don’t want to go back to my room to get another one.” He added in explanation as he could feel Sam’s suspicious eyes drilling into him.

Not thinking anything of it, Castiel gave a small smile and slipped the shirt on, “Thank you, Dean.” He then turned his attention to the steaming plates of food on the counter and his stomach rumbled audibly, his mouth growing moist at the scent of the food. “What is that, may I ask?”

Dean, busy drooling over how Cas looked in his flannel, said nothing, leaving Sam to answer, “It’s spaghetti. Basically it’s pasta with a sauce with tomato, onion and beef in it.”

Castiel nodded, “Sounds delicious.” He kept staring at the food, wanting nothing more than to start stuffing his face immediately, but he didn’t want to be rude, so remained where he was and waited for one of the brothers to say something themselves.

Dean then snapped out of his trance and tried to pretend he wasn’t still internally dying over Castiel in his clothes, noticing the man staring at the food, “Come on Cas, you must be starving.” He gestured to the plates, “Grab one and bring it to the map room, we’ll eat there.”

Castiel nodded and picked up one of the plates, Sam picking up two as Dean grabbed beers for the 3 of them, and cutlery. “Oh, Dean I would just like water if possible.”

Dean raised an eyebrow as he looked at Castiel, surprised but he didn’t blame the man, he was probably dehydrated and beer wouldn’t help, “Yeah no problem Cas.” He put one of the beers back and poured Cas a glass of water, then proceeded to the map room.

Once there the three humans sat down, Dean sitting beside Castiel and Sam across from them. As soon as they were sat down, Castiel gulped down his glass of water thirstily, closing his eyes as he did it and practically inhaling it. Dean whistled “Damn Cas, that was impressive.” He chuckled, “Want another to have with dinner?”

Castiel looked at the empty glass, his throat now quenched but he imagined he may want to drink something with the meal, “Yes but I’ll get it.” He stood up and headed for the kitchen, soon returning with another full glass. He sat back down then looked at the brothers and the meal, as if asking for permission.

“Tuck in Cas, no need to wait for us.” As soon as the words left Dean’s lips, Castiel began shoveling the food into his mouth and Dean had to physically restrain his arm to stop him, “Cas you gotta slow down buddy, or you’ll choke or get a stomach ache. And neither are pleasant, trust me.”

Reluctantly Castiel nodded and proceeded to continue his meal in a slower manner, now able to actually taste the food and he sighed contently, “This is very good, thank you Sam.”

The younger Winchester smiled at him, “No problem Cas, I’m glad you like it.” He responded, and then put a forkful into his own mouth.

The trio ate in silence for 15 or so minutes when they were all almost finished, before Dean spoke up again, “So Cas, how are you feeling now?”

Castiel turned from his plate to Dean, sauce smeared all over his lips and Dean and Sam both snorted in amusement. The ex-angel squinted and tilted his head, “What’s so funny?”

Dean chuckled to himself as he got up and grabbed Castiel a paper napkin, “You’ve got sauce all over your face, buddy. It just looks funny.”

“Oh…” Castiel took the napkin and began to gently rub his face with it, and Dean swore he noticed the man’s face redden slightly. He’d forgotten about the fact that Castiel as a human, now not only had human needs but also intensified emotions like a human. So he could cry, like he had earlier, and blush like just now, which Dean frankly found adorable.

Sam cleared his throat and stood up as he noticed Dean staring at Castiel again, “I’m gonna wash these.” He said, taking the plates and leaving the room.

After he’d cleaned his face, Castiel looked at Dean, “Can you tell me about what being a human includes, so I know what to anticipate?”

Dean was taken aback by the very broad question but it was a reasonable one, Castiel was like a baby, he had no idea what he was supposed to do as a human, so Dean had to guide him.

“Uh yeah, sure. Umm so there are physical needs of course. Eating, drinking, sleeping, using the bathroom, personal hygiene like showering and brushing your teeth.” He looked to make sure Castiel was taking this in, and he had to stifle a laugh as he saw the man making a list of what he was saying, on a napkin with a pen that had been lying on the table. He waited til Castiel was finished writing then continued, “Then there’s emotions. Not saying you didn’t experience them as an angel but now they’re more…intense which I guess you…learnt earlier.”

Castiel lowered his head slightly at the mention of his earlier breakdown, ashamed of it, and Dean picked up on that, gently touching his arm in a reassuring way. “Hey, Cas I told you not to be embarrassed about it. Crying is a natural reaction to something overwhelming or sad, and what happened to you is both. I don’t blame you.”

“But you and Sam don’t cry much.” Castiel interjected and Dean sighed, “That’s cause we have learnt to bottle up our feelings, but it’s not healthy. The way you reacted is much better than how Sam and I do, so please don’t try and hide your feelings from us. Both of us would be happy to help you, and listen to what’s up.”

While Dean had been giving his speech, Sam had entered the room, and when Dean finished speaking, he interjected, “He’s right Cas. You can’t bottle crap up, it’s not good for you. Your family, so you can talk to either of us about anything.”

Castiel listened carefully to the brothers and nodded once they were done speaking, smiling very slightly, “Thank you both, I appreciate your kindness very much.”

Dean smiled “No problem Cas, like Sam said, we’re your family so of course we’re not gonna be dicks to you.”

A silence fell over the room for a few moments, before Dean saw Castiel yawning and his eyes drooping slightly, a clear sign that he was tired, “Hey Cas, why don’t you head to bed? You look exhausted.”

Castiel, slightly startled by the sudden sound, looked up at Dean with hooded eyes, “Yes…I do feel quite tired.” Unlike other human sensations, fatigue was something he had felt before as an angel, so was familiar with it. However sleep was not something he’d done before. He stood up, yawning once more and looking at Dean “How…how does one sleep, Dean?”

Dean was surprised by the question, but when he thought about it, it made sense for him not to know how to sleep, considering the closest he’d had to sleeping was passing out, because angels don’t need to sleep. “Uh...it’s kind hard to explain.” He thought for a minute and tried to think, “Uhh you get into the bed and lie down with the blankets over you, then you just sort of relax, close your eyes and think of nice things and then it just…happens.”

Castiel listened closely, nodding along with him, “It’ll just happen?” Dean nodded, “Alright, I shall try. Goodnight to you both.” He gave a small smile to the brothers and then headed out of the room, going to the bedroom where he had occasionally stayed with the Winchester, but had never actually slept there.

Dean watched him leave then turned to Sam, “This being human thing has gotta be a bitch to deal with.” Sam nodded in agreement, “Yeah, I mean he never learnt how to be human, like we did as babies and toddlers, so he pretty much has the human skills of a baby.”

Dean chuckled a bit, “Let’s hope he at least has bladder control or we’ll have to buy him some adult diapers.” He joked but Sam didn’t smile. “Dude you can’t be serious, I’m sure he can control himself.”

Sam shrugged, “We honestly don’t know anything about what Cas’ body can handle. It went through a lot of trauma in the fall, so just remain reassuring and non-judgemental, let Cas know he can talk to us about anything.” Dean nodded, “Yeah yeah okay. Anyway I’m heading to bed, could you put Cas' clothes in the wash please?"

"Yeah sure." 

"Night bitch.”

“Night jerk.”


	3. Castiel's Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After just about managing to grasp the concept of sleep, enough for him to fall asleep, Castiel finds himself falling into a pit of nightmares. But luckily someone is able to come to his aid (Hint it's Dean), and fluff ensues. Lots of Hurt/Comfort too.  
> *Trigger Warning for Panic Attacks*

It took Castiel around half an hour to finally manage to fall asleep. He encountered the usual issues humans had with falling asleep; feeling too hot or cold, struggling to relax, brain whirring with thoughts, not being able to get comfortable. But at last he managed, however it wasn’t long until his mind began racing again, with bad thoughts, and because he was asleep, these translated into nightmares.

_Castiel was sitting outside the bunker, soaking in the morning sunlight and genuinely feeling quite happy. It had been a week or so since he became human and he was finally beginning to adapt, and his emotional scars had begun to heal. He had Sam and Dean who supported and helped him all the time, and things were just great._

_However, just as Castiel was dwelling in these pleasant thoughts, he saw a familiar figure marching towards him with an angel blade drawn._

_“Hael?” Castiel stood up, feeling fear washing over him as he looked at the blade in her hand. “What…what are you doing here?” He wasn’t an idiot, he knew why. The angels were still angry at him for what he helped do to heaven. Up until now he’d almost always been hiding away in the bunker where the angels couldn’t find him, and even when he’d left the bunker, he’d been with Sam and Dean who had always been there to protect him. But this time he was completely alone and defenseless._

_“Hello Castiel. The traitor of heaven.” As she approached, Castiel could see that Hael’s eyes were burnt out and he took a step back in shock._

_“Hael what happened to your-“_

_“You caused this Castiel. You did.” Hael responded, continuing to advance on the man who continued backing up until his back hit one of the low walls of the bunker._

_“No…I-I didn’t cause that…and I didn’t mean to make us fall, Metatron tricked me!” he attempted to defend himself._

_Hael laughed a horribly fake laugh that sent chills down Castiel’s spine, “He tricked you? How stupid could you possibly be, Castiel? To not realize that a spell was not to help heaven but to destroy it! You destroyed heaven, Castiel!”_

_Those words felt like a blade in the gut and tears quickly began to fill Castiel’s eyes, blurring his vision so he barely saw the other figures that had appeared out of nowhere and also began advancing upon him. He rubbed the tears away and his stomach dropped as he saw dozens of angels, all with blades drawn and their eyes also burnt out._

_“It’s your fault, Castiel.” They chanted over and over in a way that made Castiel’s slight fear quickly turn to terror, which caused the tears to increase and spill._

_“No-no it wasn’t…please.”_

_Hael smirked at the terrified man and viciously swiped away one of his tears, “Aww don’t cry Castiel. This won’t hurt…much.”_

_She raised her angel blade and-_

Castiel sat bolt upright in bed, his breathing violently heavy, sweat soaked his shirt and beaded his face which had a look of horror plastered on it. He fumbled for the switch on the bedside lamp, knocking something off of the desk in the process. After thirty seconds of frantic scrabbling and knocking more things to the ground, which made quite a ruckus, he finally managed to turn on the lamp. As soon as the light flooded the room, the crippling fear was diminished slightly as he could see that there were indeed no angels in his room, wanting to kill him. However he knew that out there, somewhere there were angels who wanted to kill him, and that didn’t make him feel any better.

That knowledge made the fear begin to crush him again, and because he’d never felt such strong emotions, he didn’t know how to calm himself down, so he just sat there, his breathing growing more and more frantic, his throat feeling like it was closing in, his eyes burning with tears and his body flushing hot and cold as the fear kept pressing in. He felt the hot tears begin to roll down his cheeks, which just made him feel worse as he remembered Hael’s words in his nightmare _‘Don’t cry Castiel, this won’t hurt that much.’_ Before he knew it he was having a full blown panic attack with no way of knowing how to deal with it or stop it.

Luckily Dean had heard when Castiel had knocked objects off of his desk, and because he was a light sleeper-a hunter’s instinct-he had awoken immediately. He waited to see if it happened again and when it did, he grabbed his own personal angel blade then headed in the direction of the noise, Castiel’s room.

He was worried that somehow a monster had gotten into the bunker and was hurting Castiel, so when he opened his bedroom door and found everything fairly normal looking, he was confused. Until he noticed Castiel, curled up in a trembling ball, stifled sobs as well as gasping breaths emanating from his body.

“Cas?” he spoke softly, so as not to alarm the angel and quickly put the blade away.

Castiel didn’t respond, trapped in his own state of panic and terror, barely registering the world outside his own head.

Dean frowned, his concern growing as he walked towards Castiel so he could see his face. It was fairly obscured due to the fact that he had his knees drawn to his chest, and his head was buried in them, but it was easy for Dean to tell that he was distraught.

“Hey, buddy, can you look at me?” he hesitated for a minute before gently touching Castiel’s knee. The man flinched and let out a soft whimper which broke Dean’s heart. This was even worse than earlier when he had cried, because this time he wasn’t just sad, Dean could tell there was something else wrong.

He moved so he was opposite Castiel then knelt down on the floor in front of him, so they were at a fairly equal level, “Cas it’s me, Dean. You’re okay. Whatever you think is happening, is not. You’re in the bunker with Sam and me, and you’re safe.” He spoke in soft, reassuring tones, hoping to help ground the other man and bring him back to the present.

It didn’t work at first, but as Dean continued to repeat these words over and over to him, Castiel began to break free from the steel grip of fear that had him captive. Very slowly, his vice tight grip on his knees began to loosen and he lifted his head up to lock eyes with Dean.

The hunter bit his lip when Castiel responded and looked at him, revealing wide, terrified blue eyes which were leaking wet tears down his red, flushed face. “You’re okay Cas, it’s just me here, just Dean and I’m not going to hurt you.” He shifted a little bit closer, deciding to try going a step forward, “I’m going to touch your arm now.” He informed Castiel, unsure if he was entirely registering him but he warned him anyway so he wouldn’t be startled, and when Castiel barely flinched at the touch, he knew he’d managed to bring the ex-angel back to the present.

“Good, you’re back in reality, that’s the first step. Now I want you to listen to me and copy my breathing. You’re breathing too fast right now because you’re panicking but there’s no need to panic, because you’re safe.” He kept emphasising that Castiel was safe, because while he didn’t know what had happened, he could tell something had badly scared Castiel, and assuring him of his safety seemed to be helping.

Castiel’s pupils were still dilated, wide with fear and still wet with tears, but they managed to focus on Dean and what he was doing. He hesitated before copying Dean as he breathed purposefully slowly in order to calm the man down, and stop him hyperventilating. It took a few minutes but at last Castiel had calmed down, now back in touch with reality and breathing normally, he was able to let go of the crippling fear, but it still lingered.

He roughly wiped his eyes with his sleeve, looking away from Dean as shame began to mix with the fear. He hated how needy and pathetic he’d become, and he was sure Dean was getting sick of it too. He was unaware that was the opposite. Dean didn’t mind taking care of Castiel because he’d done so much for him and Sam the past few years, so he deserved to be taken care of now during his time of need.

Dean, initially smiling at the victory of seeing Castiel’s muscles loosen, showing he’d relaxed, frowned upon seeing him hang his head. “Hey Cas, are you feeling any better?” he asked softly, receiving a quiet nod in response. Dean sighed and stood up from his previous position on the floor, moving and sitting on the bed beside the other man, “Talk to me man, what got you in such a state?”

Castiel took a deep breath and closed his eyes, fists clenching as the images of the dream flashed behind his closed eyelids, and he quickly reopened them and turned to look at Dean, fear dancing in his blue eyes, “I…It was stupid-“

“Nothing is stupid, Cas. If it made you that upset and scared, then it’s important. Sam and I will not judge you about anything; we know this is hard for you and confusing. Please man, tell me.”

Dean’s words were convincing and after a sigh, Castiel began to speak, “It was…a nightmare…but it felt so real…Hael, one of the angels in my Garrison, found me outside and threatened me because…because of what I did to the angels…she…she had her eyes burnt out and-“he stopped as the fear flared up in his chest and made it hard to breathe again.

Dean noticed immediately and laid a gentle hand on his back, “It’s okay Cas, continue when you’re ready.” He hesitated before making a soft stroking motion between Castiel’s shoulder blades, hoping to help the man feel at ease.

The action did indeed help, and after a minute or so, Castiel was able to continue, “And then she…called me stupid for believing Metatron, then…lots of other angels appeared with…angel blades and their eyes also…burnt out and they kept saying it was…my fault and then Hael she…she killed me…well I’m not quite sure, she raised her blade at me then I woke up.” He finished and looked to Dean with scared eyes, and Dean hesitated for a moment before putting his arm around the man’s shoulders, not caring that it was unlike him to do such a thing; Cas really needed him right now.

“That nightmare does sound awful, no wonder you were so upset.” Dean tried to think of the right words to say to make this better, because he himself knew angels would be hunting Castiel right now, so he couldn’t just say it was a nightmare, because it very well could happen. “But you’re in the bunker with us, no angel can touch you here, and if we go out then we’ll be by your side always. No angel will lay a hand on you or they’ll have Sam and me to answer to.”

Castiel unconsciously leaned into Dean’s touch, craving the warm reassurance of his embrace which he’d felt earlier. He didn’t want to make Dean uncomfortable but after he so kindly reassured him, and calmed him down, the man couldn’t help but fling his arms around the hunter and hold him close, “Thank you Dean. I really appreciate this, you can’t understand just how much.”

Dean smiled slightly, glad he’d succeeded in comforting his friend. “It’s no problem, Cas.” He patted the other man’s back gently, holding him close. It was weird hugging Castiel now he was human, because he now knew that Castiel was more influenced by emotions, and could experience sensations more, so that meant he had really wanted this hug, and that made him feel good. Without thinking he moved one hand up and gently brushed it through Castiel’s dark hair, enjoying the soft feeling of it against his fingers.

Dean was right, embraces were much more different now. Before, Castiel had embraced people because he felt it was what he should do, or it was spontaneous, but now he’d really thought about it and really took notice of what happened during it. He enjoyed the firmness of Dean’s chest against his, the tight grip of his arms around his waist, the way he could feel and hear Dean’s heartbeat against his own, the way he smelt-like leather and car oil. It was all so much more vivid and wonderful, and Castiel found himself not wanting to let go, especially when Dean began playing with his hair and he found his body relaxing with enjoyment, subconsciously leaning his head into Dean’s hand like a cat wanting to be stroked more.

Lost in the moment, Castiel didn’t realize that time was ticking on and Dean was growing uncomfortable by the prolonged tight grip, “Um Cas, buddy, would you mind releasing me?” he had a slight tone of amusement to his voice, clearly not annoyed by the prolonged contact, just slightly uncomfortable by it.

Castiel blinked and quickly pulled away, feeling his face beginning to tingle with warmth, something that he had quickly learnt was the feeling of embarrassment; an emotion he knew he’d be feeling a lot during these first few weeks, and he did not like it one bit.

“Oh yes, sorry Dean…I’m still very tired and you’re quite warm so I…kind of started to fall asleep on you.” He half lied, averting his eyes down to his lap.

Dean smiled a bit at Castiel’s bashfulness, trying and failing not to find it cute, “It’s no problem, Cas. I’m tired too so I’ll head to bed as well.” He stood up and Castiel felt a sudden dagger of fear pierce through his heart at the idea of being left alone, and without thinking he reached out and grabbed Dean’s wrist.

“Wait.”

Confused, Dean turned around, looking down at Castiel’s hand that had latched onto his wrist. As soon as he saw he had his attention, Castiel removed his hand then just sort of sat there, looking like he wanted to say something but couldn’t get it out.

“What is it?”

Castiel felt that embarrassment creep back in again, and he began to partially regret his actions, “It’s…it’s nothing…forget it.”

Dean frowned and sat back down beside the new-human, putting his hand on his shoulder, “Don’t lie to me, Cas. What’s up? I said you could tell me anything, didn’t I?”

“You did.” The man took a deep breath and still avoiding eye contact, stammered out, “I-I was j-just…afraid…to-to sleep here a-alone after…what h-happened and…”

Dean quickly caught on and interrupted, putting Castiel out of his misery, “You want me to stay here for the night?”

Ashamed, Castiel nodded his head, refusing to look at Dean.

The idea of sleeping in the same room as Castiel, while odd, was actually rather appealing to Dean for some reason. The only reason he was hesitant was because of what Sam would say about it, he was already teasing Dean and saying he was being overprotective, and this was the ultimate proof that he was right. But he pushed that aside now, putting Castiel’s wellbeing first.

“I can do that, Cas. I don’t mind. I can sleep in the chair.”

Castiel glanced up and shook his head, “No, I can’t make you sleep there, it is uncomfortable.” His eyes glanced over the bed, noting that it was definitely big enough for two people, but he didn’t want to suggest that Dean slept there in case he took it the wrong way and thought he was being weird.

Dean followed his glance and blushed slightly himself. The obvious solution was for him to just share the bed with the other man, but wouldn’t that be weird? He found himself almost regretting agreeing to spend the night with Castiel just because of how awkward this would make things.

An uncomfortable silence lingered in the air for a minute or so, before Dean finally broke it, “The bed is big enough for two…I know it seems weird but we’re friends, and friends share beds sometimes if necessary so it’s fine.” Dean was mainly reassuring himself that this was completely normal and platonic, but Castiel also appreciated the assurance and nodded in agreement.

“Yes. If you say so. I don’t know the social norms of two male friends sharing a bed, but I’ll take your word for it.” He shifted in the bed to make room for Dean who walked over to the left side of the bed, hesitating for a moment before getting into it, sliding under the covers.

Castiel was wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants but Dean was only wearing a t-shirt and boxers, which made Dean feel a bit more uncomfortable, in case he was making Castiel feel awkward. They both lay there in silence, both trying to come up with something to say, until Dean finally said, “Okay well goodnight, Cas.” And turned off the lamp.

Almost immediately after, Castiel was fumbling around to turn it back on again, panic setting in when he was plunged into darkness because it allowed his mind to imagine the angels lurking in the shadows of the room, “Please may we leave this light on, Dean?” he asked with such innocence that Dean couldn’t say no, despite it being a bit annoyingly bright.

“Yeah no problem.” He then got comfortable under the blankets, as did Castiel.

“Night, Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean.”


	4. Coffee Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel wakes up from his first night's sleep to discover that he is not a morning person, and can't function without coffee. He also finds himself experiencing a strange sensation that he doesn't understand until it's too late. 
> 
> Kinda omorashi, nothing sexual though. Hurt/Comfort and Fluff.
> 
> Side note: Omg this fic has 200 hits in barely a week, that's crazy! Thank you so much to everyone who read or left kudos. Please leave kudos if you can as it really encourages me to write more, and a nice, constructive comment is also appreciated.  
> Thanks!

Thanks to Dean’s reassurance and close proximity, Castiel slept peacefully for the rest of the night. Exhausted by all that had happened the previous night, he slept in for quite a while, finally awakening at 9am which was long after the Winchester brothers had woken up; Sam woke at 6am and Dean at 8am.

The new-human slowly shuffled himself out of his blanket cocoon that he’d managed to curl into in the night and sat up, yawning and then instinctively rubbed his eyes in order to clear them. His eyes moved around the room, taking in the space in slight confusion before everything hit him at once. Metatron’s trick, the fall, the Winchesters taking him in, showering, eating, trying to sleep, having a nightmare, Dean calming him down, Dean sleeping next to him.

Castiel turned and looked to his side but found it empty, Dean nowhere to be seen. He yawned once more and reluctantly got out of the bed, now understanding why Dean sometimes wanted to just stay in bed all day. It was so comfortable. Once on his feet, he stretched his arms and legs, sighing as they loosened up. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror by the desk and bit his lip. He looked quite awful. All the crying he’d done last night had made his eyes bloodshot, and his hair was sticking up in almost every direction, not to mention the dried drool at the corner of his mouth.

He hastily wiped at his mouth, glad he’d seen that before either of the brothers had, because that would be quite embarrassing. As he stood there he felt his body beginning to wake up. Everything began to ache, a cause of the fall last night. He had landed in water and avoided serious injury, but still hitting the water at that speed had caused him many bruises, which were throbbing painfully. After the pain, came the bodily urges. An empty feeling in his stomach which soon gave a growl and confirmed to Castiel that he was indeed hungry, his mouth was dry and he had an odd pressure in his lower abdomen which he was confused about, and just ignored for now.

His body may have woken up but his mind definitely hadn’t. Everything was in a haze, and for some odd reason Castiel just felt grumpy and irritable. He stood there for a moment more before stumbling to the bathroom where he splashed some cold water on his face, which woke him up slightly more. Sighing, he dried his face on a towel then made his way towards the library where he heard voices, assuming the brothers must be there.

Sam always woke up early, enjoying going for a morning run when there weren’t many people out and about, as well as ‘getting a start on the day’ as he told Dean who usually just lay in bed til 9am. But this morning Dean got up earlier, not by choice, but because he didn’t want Sam to find out that he’d slept in Cas’ room, so he got out before Cas woke up so there was no proof, and he doubted the ex-angel would say anything.

Dean was sitting at a table sipping his coffee and chatting with Sam, who was looking through John’s journal and drinking tea.

Both brothers turned towards the door when they heard it creak, indicating the arrival of Castiel. Dean couldn’t hold back a smile as he saw how dishevelled and tired he looked, it was quite cute. Especially with his hair all stuck up.

“Morning Cas.” He chuckled softly, “You look rough.”

Castiel entered the room and collapsed into a chair beside Dean, “Morning. And I feel rough.”

Dean smiled down at the table, “I bet, most people do in the morning, don’t worry.” He gestured to his coffee “That’s why people drink coffee, except for Sam cause he’s a weirdo and drinks tea.”

Sam looked up with a slight frown, offended, “Tea is better for you than coffee.”

“Shut up.” Dean stood up, “I’ll go make you a coffee, Cas. It’ll wake you right up.”

Castiel nodded and leant his head on his hand, watching Dean leave and then focusing his gaze tiredly on the table. He hated feeling this tired, despite having gotten a good amount of sleep. He assumed it was due to his body not yet being used to having to sleep, which is why it was now so tired.

He remained that way until Dean returned with a coffee for him, “Here you go. I added a sugar and milk so it isn’t too harsh for you, considering your new human tastebuds and everything.” Castiel gave a small smile of gratitude then immediately grabbed the mug and took a sip, not realising you had to wait for it to cool down first.

Dean saw him grab the mug, “Cas wait-“ but it was too late and the man had already spat the coffee out and was vigorously fanning his tongue.

“Dean why didn’t you warn me the coffee was as hot as hell fire?!” he exclaimed with wide eyes.

Both brothers chuckled softly to themselves, feeling bad because Castiel was sort of hurt, but it was a little bit funny. Sam stood up and grabbed some napkins to clean up the coffee on the table.

“Sorry Cas, I forgot it isn’t just common sense to you. Well now you know for next time.”  Dean apologized and Castiel shot him a grumpy look before staring at his coffee, waiting impatiently for it to cool down.

“Here, if you blow on it then it’ll cool faster.” Dean demonstrated, gently blowing over the top of Castiel’s mug “Now you try.”

Castiel nodded and copied Dean until it was finally cool enough to drink. As he was drinking it, he became more aware of that sensation in his lower abdomen which seemed to be getting worse instead of better. However he didn’t associate it with the coffee, and kept drinking it, not noticing that he had begun bouncing his leg up and down a little bit in response to the pressure.

Dean picked up his own mug and noticed that the table was shaking. He frowned in confusion and glanced to Castiel, and then noticed his bouncing leg, “Dude can you quit that? You’re shaking the table.”

The man looked down at his leg and immediately stopped, “Sorry Dean, I didn’t mean to do it.” He responded guiltily, however now he’d stopped bouncing his leg, he kept getting the urge to squirm in his chair which was quite odd. He glanced at Dean, contemplating telling him about the weird feeling but he didn’t in case it was maybe something really embarrassing and possibly sexual (His mind thought back to the porn incident a few years ago). So he continued quietly drinking his coffee, occasionally shifting positions and pushing his legs together to alleviate the feeling.

Silence fell over the table for a few minutes, until Dean spoke up again, “Hey Cas, you hungry?”

Castiel, absorbed in his own thoughts and focus on these new bodily urges, snapped his head up, having not really heard Dean’s words “Sorry what did you say?”

Dean chuckled, “Day dreaming, huh? Anyway I asked if you were hungry.”

“Uh…I think so. That’s when my stomach makes noises and feels empty, right?”

Dean smiled, “Yes, that’s right Cas. Okay so don’t expect this every morning but I’m going to take you out to my favourite diner for breakfast.  Sammy already had some gross healthy thing and wants to stay here and research, so we can eat as much bacon as we want without him lecturing us.”

Sam shot Dean a ‘really?’ look then turned back to his book, not saying anything else.

“Sounds nice, Dean.” Castiel smiled slightly, putting down his empty mug and standing up, making a slight face as the pressure suddenly felt worse upon standing up, “Uhm…are my clothes clean?”

Dean looked to Sam who shook his head, “No, I washed them last night and put them in the dryer this morning so they’re not quite dry yet, sorry Cas.”

“That’s alright Cas, you can borrow some of my clothes again.” Dean stood up and gestured for the other man to follow him to his room.

While Castiel and Dean were gone, Sam took their mugs to the kitchen and washed them up then returned to his reading.

Now in Dean’s room, the duo looked through Dean’s dresser, “Choose whatever you want.” He told Castiel who looked a bit perplexed by the choice and spent a few minutes searching before picking out a pair of blue jeans and a plain black t-shirt, along with a light blue plaid shirt.

“Good, now go change and I’ll come get you.”

Castiel nodded and left the room, heading for his own. Then once Castiel left, Dean chose his own clothes; blue jeans, a grey t-shirt, and a red plaid shirt.

As he was undressing, Castiel was examining his body in the mirror. He’d never really looked at it before or had reason to, but now he was curious. He noted all the bruises on his body which was why he hurt so much, and the odd scar. He ran a hand down his chest which he noticed was fairly toned, Jimmy stayed in good shape, but it was up to him to keep his body this way now. As his hands reached his abdomen, the man suddenly made a face as his hands stroked a sensitive spot right where the pressure seemed to be coming from. He tilted his head in confusion and ran a finger over it again, confused as it made him instinctively push his legs together. Curious, he then gently pushed on it and immediately regretted it as the urge doubled in intensity and the man doubled over, crossing his legs tightly together as the urge made his whole lower body throb. He decided not to do that again, and quickly redressed, then fixed his hair in the mirror.

He had adjusted the over-shirt on his shoulders when there was a sudden knock at the door. Castiel turned and walked towards it but was walking a bit funny; it seemed pushing on the area had made the sensation worse even after he stopped pushing it.

It was Dean at the door, also dressed and ready to go, “You ready, Cas?” he asked and Castiel nodded, fetching the clothes he’d taken off and handing them to Dean, “Here you go.”

Dean chuckled, “Thanks, but just stick them in the washing hamper there, I don’t need them yet.” He gestured to a wicker basket by the door. Castiel nodded and tossed the clothes inside before following his friend out of his room and through the winding halls of the bunker.

Every step sent a shockwave through Castiel’s abdomen and the sensation was steadily becoming so unpleasant that he contemplated sucking up his pride and telling Dean, but decided against it. He was relieved when they reached the garage and Dean unlocked the Impala, allowing them both to get in.

Castiel slid into the passenger’s seat and buckled up before freezing as the belt pushed on his abdomen and made it worse again. He tried to loosen it subtly without Dean, who had just gotten into the driver’s seat, noticing.

“Okay let’s rock and roll.” He smiled at Castiel then turned the key and the engine roared to life, rock music immediately accompanying it from the radio; which was always on the classic rock station.

The Impala reversed out of the parking space alongside the other ancient vehicles in the garage and then exited it and onto a side road which led to the main one, the garage door automatically closing behind them.

It seemed the roads near the bunker were in need of some work doing to them, as they were full of pot holes which jolted Castiel’s body quite vigorously and he immediately crossed one leg over the other, inhaling sharply as the pressure continued to build.

“How far is the diner?” he asked quietly, wanting to get off this road as soon as possible.

Dean glanced at Castiel, raising his eyebrows at the man’s odd sitting position but didn’t question it, “About 20 minutes. The bunker is kinda in the middle of nowhere so we have to drive a bit to get anywhere.” Castiel internally sighed but externally hid his frustration by merely nodding with a blank face.

As the ride continued, things just got worse for Castiel. The belt was digging into his abdomen and the bumpy roads were just making things worse too, and now it was raining which inexplicably made it feel worse too. By this point the man’s legs were squeezed together as tightly as possible, and his leg was bouncing incessantly.

Concerned, the man thought back to what Dean had said yesterday, trying to think of what this could be, and it was as they suddenly hit a rather large pot hole, that he knew what it was. The control that Castiel had demonstrated this whole time, wavered during that split second and in that time, he managed to gain a small wet spot on his boxers, and that was when, with horror, Castiel discovered what was wrong.

He needed to use the bathroom, urgently.

The man resisted the urge to grab himself, as the small leak had done nothing to release the awful pressure. He glanced to Dean, embarrassment already painting his face pink. Dean would probably laugh at him for his incompetence, and Castiel’s reputation would be ruined, but if he waited any longer he knew he’d eventually lose the battle and there wouldn’t just be one small wet spot to worry about. And that would be so much worse. So he swallowed his pride and decided to tell him.

“Dean…” his voice was so quiet it was drowned out by the loud music playing. He took a deep breath and repeated himself a little bit louder, “Dean…”

Dean heard and turned to face Castiel, turning the radio down, “Yeah?” he noticed Castiel’s odd body language. He was all tense and twitchy, and his leg wouldn’t stop moving, not to mention how he was sitting. “Something, wrong?”

Castiel blushed more and looked down at his feet, hesitating. Dean had said he could tell him anything without judgement, but he was still nervous. He just opened his mouth to speak when they hit another bad pothole and Castiel felt more urine leak from his body, making the small wet spot into a decently sized patch; and unfortunately due to his borrowed blue jeans, the patch was beginning to show slightly.

In panic, the man grabbed at his crotch to prevent any more leaks, and to make sure Dean didn’t see the wet mark, “I…I have an-an emergency!” he blurted, looking at Dean desperately and it barely took Dean ten seconds to realize what was wrong.

“Shit, alright Cas just calm down. There’s a gas station five minutes from here, can you wait that long?”

Red-faced and flustered, Castiel nodded despite not being sure. He cursed himself for being so stupid and not realizing what the pressure was before it was almost too late.

The five minute ride felt like forever and it was agonising for Castiel who had to use every ounce of his concentration on not leaking again. It happened one more time but it was only a small one, so Castiel managed not to freak out and completely lose it.

At last they pulled up in front of the gas station. Dean unbuckled his seatbelt and quickly got out, going around to Castiel’s side and waiting for him to get out, but he didn’t.  The man was frozen in place with his hands firmly jammed in his crotch, terrified to move incase it unleashed his bladder entirely.

“Come on, Cas.” Dean encouraged, opening the door with a pitying look. It hurt him to see his friend so vulnerable and humiliated.

Castiel blushed darker and avoided eye contact, this situation was so embarrassing, “I…I can’t-“ he squeaked “I…I think it’ll…all come out if I stand up.” He confessed

Dean bit his lip, not sure of what to do, “Um…well if you just sit there it’ll…come out anyway so you might as well try to get to a toilet.”

That reasoning made sense, and Castiel carefully unbuckled his seatbelt, making sure not to touch his sensitive bladder, then slowly maneuvered himself out of the car. As soon as he was upright, the pressure tripled and the man doubled over, squeezing his crotch so hard it hurt, but despite his efforts he could feel urine beginning to dribble free and wet his fingers.

“No..no…no-“ he would not let this happen. He gave Dean a glance then sprinted towards the gas station, feeling more and more urine leaking as he ran but running was the only way he would possibly get there before he lost all control. He burst into the gas station and beelined for the one single-bathroom, but found it was locked.

“No! Please, please let me in, it’s an emergency!” he begged, pounding on the door as he felt his bladder begin to give up and the trickles quickly turned into a stream. Castiel felt humiliation engulf him as his pants slowly became soaked through as he lost the battle and the urine gushed from his body.

Completely humiliated, and still peeing, Castiel covered his face with his hands as tears filled his eyes, his face so red he felt like it was on fire. This was probably the lowest moment of his life.

Things only got worse when Dean came running after Castiel, expecting to find him in the bathroom but instead he was outside it, standing there in a small yellow puddle, with soaked jeans. It was easy to see what had happened.

“Cas…” Dean had no idea what else to say, and when he saw Castiel’s shoulders shaking, he felt even worse.

Bladder finally empty, Castiel was unable to feel good about the relief he felt, as he was so absolutely humiliated that he couldn’t focus on anything else. He now understood the saying ‘to die of embarrassment’. He said nothing as he stood there, feeling dirty and uncomfortable as the jeans stuck to his legs.

 He heard the bathroom door open, and as the person exited and took in Castiel’s state say, “Oh…sorry dear, I didn’t know it was that bad.” It was a sweet old lady, but that didn’t make Castiel feel any better. The second she had left the bathroom, Castiel ran inside and locked the door, not wanting to look at anyone and as soon as he was alone he broke down, his face quickly becoming as wet as his jeans.

Dean was in such shock at this situation, that he had no idea what to say or do, but when Castiel ran inside, he banged on the door, “Cas, let me in please.” He gave an awkward smile to the old lady as she left, and tried the handle but found it locked, “Please Cas, I’m not going to laugh at you if that’s what you’re afraid of, I’m your friend.” He could hear Castiel’s soft sniffles through the door and it broke his heart.

Castiel, now sitting on the toilet lid, had his burning face held in his hands, letting out soft sobs into them. This situation was so awful. He was supposed to be an angel of the lord, but now he’d been pretty much reduced to a child; having nightmares and accidents like one. He felt Dean’s statement of him being a ‘baby in a trenchcoat’ was now right, and that made him feel so ashamed.

Dean sighed, banging on the door until his hand hurt, “Cas please…” but his begging did nothing and the door remained locked. He sighed and went to the front desk “Excuse me, my friend locked himself in the restroom and the lock on the inside is broken, do you have a key?” thankfully there was one, and the cashier handed it to him without question.

He returned to the hallway where the bathroom was, stepping around the puddle, then put the key in the door, “Cas I’m coming in.” he turned the key and opened the door. The sight before him was quite pitiful and it made Dean frown deeply.

“Hey, Cas.” He shut the door and approached the crying man, reaching out to touch Castiel’s shoulder but the man moved away from him, not moving his hands from his face.

“D-don’t…don’t touch m-me…I’m-I’m disgusting.” He spluttered

Dean ignored him and moved closer and put his hand on his arm, “No you’re not. Cas please don’t beat yourself up about this-“

“Y-you were r-right…I’m just a-a...b-baby in a-a trench c-coat.”  Castiel interjected and Dean felt a pang in his heart. That comment had been meant as a joke but Castiel had clearly taken it to heart if he still remembered it now.

“I was joking about you being that, Cas. You’re far from being a baby.” He tried to reassure him but Castiel kept shooting him down.

He sniffled, “I m-may not h-have been then b-but now I c-certainly a-am…I…I just…soiled m-myself…that’s b-baby behaviour, not t-that of an a-angel…but I g-guess I’m…n-not that anymore e-either.”

Castiel’s words were so sad that Dean wanted to hug him until he felt better, but he kept his distance for now so as not to make Castiel feel uncomfortable, “It may feel that way but trust me Cas, you’re not the first adult to have an accident.” His face reddened slightly as he realized what he may have to say in order to make the man feel better, “I…I’ve done it before.”

At last, Castel removed his hands from his face and looked at Dean, surprised by his confession, “Y-you? Really?”

Dean avoided Castiel’s gaze, his blush deepening, “Yes…the life we live, there isn’t a lot of time for bathroom breaks. Too many long road trips where there are no rest stops and too many beers, and don’t even get me started on being tied up by a monster for hours and being unable to move…” his felt his ears burning, feeling fairly embarrassed but he forced himself to lock eyes with Castiel, “Sam and I have both had our fair share, so don’t feel bad. You have more of an excuse than us, because you’re brand new to the whole human thing. I’m assuming you didn’t wait so long on purpose?”

Castiel was quiet, the tears ceasing as he listened to Dean, feeling fairly reassured now he knew he wasn’t alone, “No…I didn’t know what the sensation felt like…it just kept getting worse and I…I was scared to tell you and then…it was too late.” He ducked his head again.

Dean felt guilt creep into him, feeling like this was partly his fault. He should have accurately described human urges and such to him, he should have known Castiel wouldn’t know what they felt like, “Sorry Cas, that was kinda my fault. I’m a bad teacher.” He stepped closer to the man and gently took a hold of his chin and pushed it up so their eyes met, “It won’t happen again. Let me know as soon as you need to go, so we can find somewhere before it gets to this point again.”

Castiel reluctantly met Dean’s eyes, a blush still painted across his face but the sadness in his eyes had lessened, and his tears had dried. He nodded, “I’ll tell you next time, I promise.”

“Good.”

Now Castiel was somewhat cheered up, the issue now was Castiel’s sodden jeans and boxers. Dean bit his lip as he tried to think of a solution, and then remembered they kept spare clothes in the car; their job was messy and it was always good to keep some spares in the trunk.

“I have some spare clothes in the Impala, I’ll grab some then bring them to you.”

Castiel nodded but just as Dean was about to leave, he spoke, “Thank you Dean. I appreciate this so much.” He didn’t know if he could have handled it if Dean had been unkind about this and teased him. He was so lucky that Dean wasn’t like that.

Dean turned around and smiled at his friend, “No problem Cas, I want to help you with this transition, and make it as easy and pleasant as possible." He responded then left the bathroom and went to the Impala.

He returned three minutes later with a pair of jeans and a plastic bag, “Slight problem Cas, there were no boxers and these jeans are Sam’s…so they’re a bit long for you.”

Castiel frowned a little but at least there was something he could change into, “It’s alright, thank you anyway.” Dean nodded then left so Castiel could change

The man cleaned himself up the best he could with the 1 ply toilet paper and then slid on the huge jeans. He sighed and rolled up the legs so they fit somewhat but they still looked stupid, and the waist was loose too so he had to keep pulling them up or risk showing his private parts to everyone. It sucked but it was better than nothing. He tucked his shirt into the jeans to make the waist a bit tighter then bundled his wet clothes up into the bag, washed his hands then joined Dean out in the hallway.

Upon seeing him in Sam’s huge jeans, Dean had to hold back a laugh, finding it kind of funny how big they were on Castiel, and would normally have laughed but considering the circumstances he didn’t want to make the other man feel more self-conscious so he said nothing except, “Let’s go to the diner.”

Castiel sighed and nodded in agreement, glancing at the puddle as he left the gas station, silently apologizing to the janitor.

 


	5. Jealous Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel go to Dean's favourite diner for breakfast.   
> While there a waitress catches Dean's eye, and Castiel finds himself feeling not too happy about it.

The ride to the diner was very uncomfortable. Both men sat in complete silence, the radio being the only thing that broke it.

Castiel refused to even look in Dean’s direction, still completely humiliated by what had happened a few moments ago. He still couldn’t believe it had happened; it was like a bad dream.

This awkwardness lasted until Dean pulled into the diner parking lot. Castiel made a move to get out but Dean grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Cas, listen to me for a sec.”

The new-human reluctantly returned to his seat but didn’t look at Dean. Dean sighed and pushed Castiel’s shoulder in order to make him face him.

“I want you to look at me too.”

Castiel sighed softly and forced himself to look in the vicinity of Dean’s face, but he couldn’t meet his eyes, it was way too awkward.

Dean wanted to make the man look at him properly but he decided this was good enough, and he began to talk.

“I know you’re embarrassed about what happened. But I’m not judging you, you’re new to this human thing and you didn’t know that you needed to go. That wasn’t your fault. So please forgive yourself and we can move on and pretend this never happened, okay?”

As Dean spoke, Castiel’s face pinkened but his shattered confidence began to rebuild itself. He hesitated before finally meeting Dean’s eyes, forcing himself to keep looking even when his face burned and he didn’t want to anymore. He nodded to what Dean said, feeling more and more at ease as he spoke, until at last he spoke up himself,

“Okay, Dean.” Was all he said but the change in him was clear, he was more like his usual self again, not the sad, awkward man he was a few moments ago.

Dean smiled at the success and patted the other man on the shoulder, “Alright! Now let’s go get some pancakes!” he said then got out of the car.

Castiel followed suit and soon the pair were entering the diner, which was themed like an old retro diner from the 80s.

“Not only is the food here great, but the décor is awesome. It really takes me back to when I was a kid.” Dean gushed as they waited to be seated.

The ex-angel didn’t hold the same sentiment for the décor, but it looked nice enough so he just nodded along to what Dean was saying. He then tugged uncomfortably at the too-big jeans that he was wearing, wishing they had some of Dean’s jeans in the trunk that he could wear that weren’t soiled.

Dean noticed Castiel’s movements and tried not to smile at the ridiculous jeans, “Hey, why don’t we go shopping after this? Get you some clothes of your own? You can pick whatever you want, so long as it isn’t really expensive.” He chuckled.

Castiel rather liked that idea. He was enjoying wearing Dean’s clothes but he wanted some clothes to call his own; other than his trademark suit and trench coat.

“Sure, if you can afford it then I would like that.” He smiled very slightly and Dean smiled back.

“Great.”

At last a waitress came to seat them, “Table for two?” she asked

Dean nodded and gave Castiel a pat on the back, “Yep.”

The waitress nodded, “Right this way.” She waved them over to a corner booth and placed two menus in front of them as they sat, “Would you like a few minutes to decide?” she asked, talking to them both but she was clearly looking at Dean and had a flirtatious smile on her face.

Castiel noticed and felt an odd feeling bubbling in his stomach. At first he panicked and thought he was sick or something was wrong with him, but soon it became clear that it was an emotional reaction as a stupidly intense hatred towards the waitress began to fill him. Without realising he was almost glaring at the girl, his fist clenching beneath the table.

Dean, oblivious to Castiel’s jealousy, smiled politely at the waitress, “I know what I want but my friend may need a few minutes.”

The waitress nodded, “Okay, just wave when you’re ready.” Then she left the table with a wink which made Castiel grit his teeth.

Absorbed in his own bubble of jealousy, Castiel wasn’t aware of his physical reactions so was confused when Dean suddenly asked in a worried voice if he was okay.

“I’m…I’m fine.” He muttered in reply, taking a deep breath to calm himself. He didn’t know why he was taking such a disliking to this girl, because he usually never disliked anyone unless they hurt him or his friends.

Dean shrugged, “Alright.” He opened his menu then gestured to Castiel’s, “I don’t know why I’m even looking at this, I know what I want.” He chuckled then closed it again.

Castiel reached for his menu and opened it, his eyes widening at all the food options there were; pancakes, waffles, eggs, bacon, sausages, fruit, and much more. He felt his mouth becoming moist (sorry) at the pictures that were given beside the items.

Dean noticed this and chuckled, “I know right? Everything looks so good! If you’re stuck on what to choose, I suggest the pancakes with bacon.” He pointed to one of the pictures that looked quite delicious.

Having no real knowledge on which breakfast foods were the best, Castiel shrugged and closed the menu, “Okay. I trust your taste in food so I will get that.”

Dean smiled, “Good choice.” He then made a waving gesture to the waitress who was standing nearby, to get her attention.

It worked and she soon walked back over to their table, smiling at Dean and pretty much ignoring Castiel, which made him madder. “Okay what can I get you?” she asked Dean.

“Pancakes and bacon please with coffee, black.”

She nodded then seemed to reluctantly turn to Castiel, who tried very hard not to glare at her, “And for you?”

“The same, but with orange juice.” He said with a slight edge to his voice, and when the waitress went to collect the menus, Castiel purposefully slammed his down beside her to show his slight frustration.

The waitress didn’t respond, just picked up the menus and said, “It’ll be out shortly.” Then left again.

Now she was gone, Castiel took another deep breath to calm his anger, not liking it because he hated conflict and being angry at people, and he didn’t know why he had taken such a disliking to this waitress.

Dean had also noticed Castiel’s aggression and raised an eyebrow at him, “You sure you’re alright, Cas? What got under your feathers?”

The comment sent a pang of hurt through Castiel’s chest, as he was reminded harshly that he did not have feathers anymore because he did not have wings anymore.

“Nothing…I think I’m just grumpy because I’m tired.” He mumbled in explanation, which he thought may have something to do with it, along with the incident-that-shall-not-be-named making him grumpy too.

Dean chuckled, “I can understand that. You went through a lot of crap yesterday. Tonight go to bed a bit earlier and you’ll hopefully feel better tomorrow. Or maybe you’re just not a morning person. I’m not, but coffee can easily fix it.”

Castiel nodded then dropped the subject, averting his gaze out the window to the forest opposite. It was quite pretty and he happily just stared at it until he felt a tap on his hand, drawing his attention to Dean.

“Cas, I’m just heading to the bathroom, I’ll be back in a minute.” He said, standing up.

The other man nodded to show he’d heard him, “Okay Dean.” Dean’s words made his bathroom incident begin to replay in his mind and he quickly turned back to the window as his face warmed, trying very hard to forget about it but it was hard.

Castiel stared motionless out the window until he was again distracted as a plate was suddenly set in front of him. He looked up and saw the waitress placing their meals down along with a bottle of syrup. She had a frown on her face as she looked to Dean’s empty seat.

“Where is your friend at?”

Castiel didn’t want to answer her, still annoyed at her for no reason, but he did, “He is urinating.”

The waitress raised an eyebrow at Castiel’s choice of words but didn’t comment on it, merely saying, “Oh.” She then sat opposite Castiel in Dean’s seat and it was the ex-angel’s turn to raise an eyebrow.

Why was she sitting with him?

This question was answered as she leaned across the table and quietly asked, “Is your friend single by any chance.”

That question made Castiel want to ignore the waitress tell her to go away, but he knew he couldn’t be so impolite so after thinking for a moment, he answered through gritted teeth,

“He is, but I don’t think he’s looking for a relationship right now.”

That answer wasn’t a complete lie. Dean usually didn’t want long term relationships as far as Castiel knew, he only wanted flings, due to the nature of his work he didn’t want to put any dates in danger.

The waitress smirked, “Oh that’s okay, I wasn’t planning on a relationship, I just wanted to have a bit of fun with him.”

Castiel clenched his fist a bit tighter, angered by the waitress’ intentions. He wanted to yell at her so badly, tell her Dean wasn’t to be objectified, but he held his tongue and said nothing.

“I mean you can’t blame me, he’s so hot. That jawline, those eyes, and I bet he’s got a really hot bod under those layers of clothing. Plus I bet he’s got a really big-“

Castiel coughed loudly to stop her, blushing madly at the things the waitress was saying. How and why was she saying these things to him? And also why on earth was he now imagining those things and liking it? The whole thing was just uncomfortable.

“Sorry I’m coming down with a cold.” He explained his cough and red face then before the waitress could give any more details of Dean’s beauty, he added, “I’ll tell him your proposition.”

The waitress smiled, “Thanks, you’re such a doll.” And with that, she left.

Castiel was left feeling confused. A doll? What did she mean by that? Also he was slightly offended that she had completely ignored him until she wanted to know information on Dean.

That hurt.

It wasn’t like Castiel cared about people liking him, but it was still kind of offensive. Also why on earth had imagining Dean shirtless made Castiel feel so…odd?

Thankfully Dean soon returned, distracting Castiel from his racing thoughts.

“Yes, the food arrived!” he cheered as he slid into his seat and immediately grabbed the syrup jug and began to pour the substance all over his pancakes.

Castiel gave a small smile, hesitating as he thought about if he should tell Dean about what the waitress had told him. He could just not tell him and things would be fine, but when he turned to get his cutlery, he saw the waitress hanging about nearby watching and waiting for Castiel to tell Dean. So now he had no choice.

The man sighed and distracted himself by pouring syrup on his own pancakes, using that to avoid looking at Dean as he said these awful words.

“Dean the um…the waitress she...um...while you were in the bathroom she…told me to ask you if you wanted to…to…’have fun’ with her tonight.”

His face burned as he spoke, with both anger and embarrassment at imagining Dean having intimate relations with that girl. He held his breath as he waited for Dean’s response, hoping he would shoot down the proposal.

The hope was shattered as he looked up from his plate and saw Dean smiling then looking over at the waitress and winking, “Oh man, I get pancakes, bacon and some lovin? Lucky me.” He stood up, abandoning his plate and patted Castiel’s shoulder as he headed towards her, “Thanks for bein’ my wingman Cas.”

Castiel just sat there feeling hurt. Not only did Dean abandon him to go talk to the waitress, but he’d mocked his loss of wings again; Castiel of course didn’t know the real meaning of ‘wingman’.

He forced himself not to watch the pair as they talked, instead turning his attention back to his food which was the reason they were here. He picked up his cutlery and cut into his syrup-soaked pancakes, spearing a small piece on his fork then putting it into his mouth.

Castiel momentarily forgot about the horrible waitress incident when he tasted that pancake, it was like eating a piece of heaven. Wow. Food just seemed to keep getting better. Maybe being human wasn’t all bad.

The man contently ate his meal, less bothered by Dean’s absence now, as he distracted himself with the delicious food. It was around fifteen minutes later when Dean finally returned.

“Sorry for leaving you there man, I just wanted to get to know her a bit before…y’know.” He had a cheeky schoolboy grin on his face, which Castiel would have found cute if the waitress wasn’t the reason for it.

Castiel shrugged, “It’s fine.” He put another forkful of food in his mouth and sighed, wishing that Dean hadn’t talked to her then this meal would be perfect. “This food is really good.” He added so Dean wouldn't pick up on his distress.

Dean nodded, turning to his plate and quickly beginning to consume the contents, “I know right? This diner is the best. I’m glad you like it.” He was still smiling and Castiel couldn’t help but crack the slightest smile back, liking to see Dean happy despite the circumstances.

The rest of the meal was fairly quiet, both men too absorbed in their thoughts and food to say much. Dean of course managed to finish his meal, but Castiel, who was still getting used to the whole eating thing, only managed to eat about half.

“I wish I could eat more but I feel like my stomach would explode if I did.” He explained as he put his cutlery down and rubbed his stomach gently.

Dean chuckled, “You won’t explode Cas, you’re just full. I feel like that too.” He then burped, “Now that feels a bit better.” He set his own cutlery down.

Castiel did his usual confused squint and head tilt, “How did you do that, Dean?” he asked before freezing as he felt a weird pressure suddenly fill his chest and rise up his throat. His eyes were wide with fear and he braced for something awful to happen but all that happened was a burp.

Dean laughed, finishing the last sip of his coffee, “Your face, Cas. You looked like you thought someone was gonna kill you.” He continued to laugh, finding the situation quite funny, “Burps are natural ways for your body to get rid of gas, as are farts which I’m sure you’ll experience soon too. I hope to god ex-angel farts don’t stink.”

The ex-angel tilted his head down in slight shame, feeling stupid for his overreaction, “I didn’t know that.” He mumbled when Dean said it was normal.

Dean stopped laughing as he saw Castiel’s expression and body language, “It’s alright Cas, don’t sweat it. You’re still new to all this so I don’t expect you to be aware of these things.” He stood up and patted his shoulder, “Come on, let’s go pay then head to the mall.”

Castiel nodded and also stood up, following Dean over to the counter where he paid. He glanced around and noticed the waitress smiling at them. He just stared for a minute before shooting her a deadly glare, then left the restaurant with Dean.


	6. The Boner Shorts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Firstly I'm not sorry for the title, I had to.)  
> Cas and Dean go to the mall after breakfast, and purchase some necessities.   
> A few of the items cause Dean's mind to wander to some places he never expected.  
> Also Cas has to use a public bathroom and does not like it. (I'm bad at summaries)  
> (Warning for erections and mentions of penis') *Idk what people need to be warned about but thought I'd be safe haha*

**A/N Yes I changed the month this fic starts in cause November is too late in the year so it’s now September instead.**

Another awkward car ride took place, however it was only Castiel who felt that way as Dean was unaware that anything was wrong.

Castiel couldn’t stop thinking about Dean’s ‘plans’ tonight with the waitress. An awful thought crossed his mind to sabotage them. Dean knew he was quite vulnerable right now, so what if he faked a nightmare and insisted that Dean stay? He couldn’t leave then.

The man quickly stopped himself from thinking like that. No, he was being selfish. Dean could do whatever he wanted, he was a grown man, and he wasn’t Castiel’s parent either. He wasn’t obligated to be helping him right now, but he was, so Castiel tried to just be grateful that he was here now.

Dean snapped Castiel out of his thoughts as they pulled up at the mall, “We’re here.” He announced, giving the man a light tap on the arm when he didn’t respond.

Castiel quickly turned to look at Dean, clearly snapping out of his thoughts, “Huh?”

Dean chuckled, “Daydreaming?” Castiel blushed a bit and said nothing. “We’re here, is what I said.” He added

“Oh.” Dean just smiled, finding the man’s flustered reaction a bit cute.

“Come on then.” Dean got out of the car and waited for Castiel to follow, then once he did, he locked the Impala and headed for the mall.

Castiel followed closely alongside Dean, but as soon as they were inside he began to fall behind. He had never been in a mall before and was in awe of all the different shops, displays and other features of the place. His eyes lingered on a fountain in the center of the mall where there was a large open space with benches and escalators leading to higher floors.

Dean, oblivious to Castiel’s distraction, kept walking briskly towards the map on the wall which would tell them where the ‘Good Will’ was; that was where the Winchesters did most of their shopping due to its affordability. He only became aware that Castiel wasn’t following him, when he reached the map, turned around and found Castiel still near the entrance, staring at a fountain.

He sighed but there was an affectionate smile on his face as he cupped his hands round his mouth and called, “Cas!” His voice echoed across the mall and several people turned and stared at Dean, including Castiel who quickly rushed over to Dean.

“Sorry Dean…I have never been in this type of establishment before. I was just looking.” He quickly explained, his cheeks dusting pink once again.

Dean chuckled slightly, “It’s okay, Cas I understand.” He said then turned to the map and scanned it for a minute before pointing to one of the blue squares on it, “Okay that’s where we’re going.” He turned to Castiel who still looked a bit embarrassed, “Stay close okay? I don’t want to have to go find you in the lost kids office.” He chuckled once more then gestured as he began to walk, “Come on.”

Castiel followed Dean as he’d instructed, probably walking a bit closer than Dean had meant but neither man said anything about it.

They soon reached ‘Good Will’ and Dean grabbed a basket as he entered, “Okay so this here is the best store to get clothes from. They’re second hand so they’re cheap, but still good, and some of the money goes to charity. Win, win.”

Castiel nodded his approval, not minding wearing second hand clothes, as he wore Dean’s a lot, plus he liked that he was sort of helping a charity by getting these clothes.

Dean lead the man over to the men’s section, “Alright, choose anything you like the look of and what looks like it’ll fit, then you can go try it on.” He handed him the basket which Castiel just stared at for a minute, surprised by the freedom he was being given, but he didn’t hesitate for long before heading off down the racks of clothes.

While Castiel looked at the clothes, Dean wandered over to the electronics section and browsed at the phones; Castiel could no longer hear prayers so he needed another way to get in contact with the brothers.

Around 10 minutes later, Castiel walked over to Dean with a full basket. Inside he had two pairs of dark blue jeans, 3 plain coloured t-shirts, 2 flannels (blue and red), a blue jacket, and a red hoodie.

“I hope this is not too much, Dean.” He said shyly as he presented the basket to Dean, not wanting to seem greedy but he didn’t know how many items of clothing humans needed.

Dean looked at the basket and shook his head, “No way Cas, in fact that’s not enough. Wait a sec.” he took the basket, left and then returned with the clothes in a cart, “Here, let me pick some more for you.” He grabbed Castiel lightly by the arm and pulled him back to the clothing section.

“These would be good, and this.” Dean tossed item after item of clothing into the cart. More jeans, sweatpants, sweaters, more t-shirts, a dress shirt and dress pants, some pyjama pants, and finally a pair of shorts. It was September so the need for shorts was pretty much over, but there was no harm in getting a pair in case there was a sudden heatwave. Also a tiny part of Dean just wanted to see Cas in shorts for no reason at all, of course.

Castiel just watched with a slightly open mouth, stunned by the pile of clothes now in the cart, “Are you sure I can have all of those, Dean?”

Dean nodded, steering the cart over to the ex-angel, “If they fit then sure. All these clothes probably add up to what a shirt and jeans would cost in a brand store.” He gestured to the changing rooms nearby, “Take those and go try them on, decide if you like them and if they fit, and if they do then we’ll get them.”

Castiel just smiled, nodded then headed for the changing rooms with the cart. Once inside he tried on all of the items of clothing that he and Dean had picked out. Most of them fit, however some of the shirts were a bit big and the shorts were tight. The shirts he didn’t mind, but the latter was more of a concern. He decided to get Dean’s opinion and he opened the changing room curtain and stepped out.

“Dean, do you think these are too tight?”

Dean, who was standing nearby texting Sam and telling him what they were doing, suddenly looked up and nearly fell over when he saw the angel standing there, his toned legs on display and his groin and butt being pleasantly squeezed by the shorts.

He swallowed hard, shifting in his position uncomfortably as he felt his pants trying to get tighter, “T-they…indeed are…are tight…but shorts are…are supposed to be like that.” He stammered, trying to convince Castiel to get the shorts, which he wasn’t sure was a good idea if just seeing him in them for five seconds was almost giving him a boner; which he brushed off with some crap about it having nothing to do with seeing Cas in the shorts, but he was lying to himself. **(I’m calling them the boner shorts from now on you can't stop me)**

Castiel titled his head a bit, confused at Dean’s odd reaction but he took his word for it and nodded, “Okay, I shall get them then.” He then returned to the changing room and Dean let out a breath and rubbed his face.

Oh man, he both hoped Cas would never wear those shorts, and would always wear them.

Another few minutes later and Dean had managed to think enough savory thoughts to calm himself down, and just in time as Castiel exited the changing room with the cart.

“Did everything else fit?” he asked

Castiel nodded, “Yeah except these.” He held up one pair of jeans and a shirt that were too big to ignore.

“That’s fine, you should have enough without them.” Dean said and put them back then beckoned Castiel to follow him to the electronics section, “I’m going to get you a phone too because now you’re human you need a fast way to contact us.” He explained and gestured for the man to choose one from the basket they were in.

Castiel didn’t have much knowledge of what phones were good, so he just chose one that he liked the look of. It was black with a blue phone case already on it.

“Samsung huh?  I’m more an apple guy myself, but you do you.” Dean commented.

“But apple is a fruit, Dean.” Castiel replied with a squint, not understanding.

Dean sighed then chuckled, “It’s a phone brand, Cas.” Was all he said, then grabbed a basic charger too, and an AC/DC tape he’d been eyeing, “Alright now let’s go check out.”

Castiel didn’t ask any more questions and just nodded, placed his phone in the cart and followed Dean to the counter to pay. Dean ended up being right in his estimate of how much it would all cost. In total the cost was $60 which was roughly what a pair of jeans and shirt would cost at a designer store.

“Told ya this was the place to go.” Dean smiled as he thanked the cashier then handed some of the bags to Castiel, who smiled back and took them.

“Thank you very much, Dean.” He was very grateful for all of this.

Dean shrugged, “It’s no problem, Cas. You needed clothes. Anyway we’re not done quite yet.”

Castiel frowned, “We’re not?”

“Nope, you still need underwear, socks, boots and toiletries. All of which are the few things I wouldn’t buy from a thrift store.” He chuckled as the pair exited the store.

Dean looked around until a few stores down he spotted a Wal-mart, “The next best store! They have literally everything.” He began walking towards it, and Castiel quickly followed him.

“I doubt they have everything, Dean. It is impossible for one store to have everything in the universe in it.” He responded, clearly not understanding that Dean was using an expression.

“It was a-“Dean decided not to bother explaining it. Expressions generally went over Castiel’s head so he decided to save his breath, “Never mind.”

Castiel said nothing and continued walking alongside Dean, until they entered the store. He became quickly distracted by the many aisles of different items, halting in his place. Luckily this time, Dean noticed quickly that he wasn’t being followed and he turned around, “Cas!”

The man turned to Dean with a slightly guilty expression and quickly caught up, “Sorry, Dean.”

Dean smiled, “It’s okay, I just don’t want you getting lost.” He guided Castiel to the bathroom section of the store, “Alright now you need one of these for brushing your teeth, and one of these for the same thing.” He gestured to the toothbrushes and toothpaste,” Then two of these for washing yourself.” He pointed to the shampoo and body washes, “And one of those.” He showed the combs, “Oh and a pack of these.” He grabbed a pack of razors since they were pretty much all the same, “You can use my shaving cream at home.”

Castiel stared at the selections, overwhelmed by all the choices. This store may not have everything, but it certainly had a lot. He hesitated for a few minutes, looking over all the different options before picking out a blue toothbrush, mint toothpaste, a shampoo in a blue bottle and body wash in a yellow one which smelt like fruit, and a black comb.

“You’re gonna attract bees with that.” Dean teased as he saw the body wash but didn’t say anything else as he placed his selection in the basket. He then lead Castiel over to the clothing section.

“You just need a pack of these, and a pack of these.” He pointed out the underwear and socks.

Castiel didn’t take as long with the socks, just choosing the first ones he saw which were all neutral colours. However he got confused as he saw the underwear, “What’s the difference between boxers, briefs and boxer-briefs?” he asked.

Dean inexplicably felt his face warming at that question, unsure of what to say. He thought about how to explain it for a minute then answered, “Uh…boxers are looser and longer, briefs are…tighter and shorter, and boxer-briefs are a mix of the two. A good middle ground in my opinion, those are the ones Sam and I wear.”

Castiel listened, not at all fazed by the discussion. To him these are just items of clothing, so he didn’t particularly care, “Okay I’ll get the boxer-briefs then.” He picked out a pack of neutral colours in medium then placed them in the basket.

“Good choice.” Was all Dean said as he scolded himself for getting so stupidly flustered. What was wrong with him? Maybe it was because he was now imagining Cas in those boxer-briefs.

God it was like the shorts all over again.

“Dean, are you alright?”

Dean blinked as he heard Cas’ voice, “What?” he didn’t realize he’d zoned out.

Castiel smiled, “Daydreaming?” he teased, using Dean’s earlier words which caused Dean to blush a bit due to the subject of his daydream standing right there.

“Shut up.” He muttered playfully, “Let’s go pay.”

They did just that, however as they were standing in line, Castiel had begun to feel hungry. From consulting the clock on the wall apparently it was now 2pm, so it had easily been 5 hours or so since he last ate.

Dean was just pulling out his credit card to pay, when Castiel tapped him on the arm to get his attention.

“Yeah, Cas?”

Castiel bit his lip, not wanting to be an annoyance for bothering Dean but he was hungry and Dean had insisted he tell him if he ever needed anything, “I’m…I’m hungry.”

Dean smiled a bit at Castiel’s shyness, “Me too. We’ll go get food after this, alright? I think they have a food court here.”

Satisfied with Dean’s answer, Castiel relaxed and smiled back, then helped Dean pack the items into the bags.

Dean was true to his word, and they headed straight for the food court.

Once there, Dean told the ex-angel to choose where he wanted to eat and of course he chose white castle.

“I don’t know what I expected.” He chuckled, “Why don’t you stay with the bags and I’ll go order for us. You want a bacon burger meal with fries and a drink?”

Castiel nodded with a smile, “That sounds good.” and then sat down as Dean went to order. He was grateful that he could put the bags down and sit down, as his muscles were aching from all the walking and carrying bags. Who knew shopping could be so tiring?

His curious eyes looked around the rest of the food court as he waited for Dean to return, enamored by things humans wouldn’t look at twice, such as the little decorative plants and water features throughout the area. Castiel found them quite beautiful, and thought it was sad that no one else seemed to take the time to stop and appreciate them; he found that was the case with many things with humans.

“Alright, your order has arrived.” A voice said and Castiel turned his attention away from the decorations and to the source, which was Dean who was carrying a tray of food towards them.

Castiel smiled, “Thank you, Dean.” He appreciated Dean getting his food for him.

“No problem.” Dean replied as he sat opposite Castiel at the booth he’d chosen, placing the tray down, “I got the same so take which ever you want. I got you Coke to drink if that’s okay, cause I didn’t know what you liked.”

“That’s fine.” Honestly Castiel hadn’t tried it before, so when he took the cup off the tray he had no idea what the beverage would taste like. He grabbed a burger and box of fries as well and set them on a napkin in front of him, before putting a straw in his drink and taking a sip.

He didn’t realise he was making a face, until Dean pointed it out with a chuckle, “Like it?” he asked.

Castiel nodded and drank some more of it, “Yes it is quite nice. I didn’t realize I was thirsty but now this has pleasantly quenched my thirst.”

Dean chuckled at Castiel’s phrasing as he sipped his own, “Yeah thirst isn’t as obvious as hunger, so you just need to make sure you drink throughout the day even if you don’t think you’re thirsty.” He instructed, “Being dehydrated is really bad for you.”

“I knew that.” He said proudly, happy he knew something about being human, even though it was more down to the fact that he knew everything about the physical human body, and that water and liquids were essential to it surviving. It was the other stuff he didn’t know about, like feelings both physical and emotional, which were hard to understand.

The duo continued eating their lunch in content silence. Dean was listening to the music playing in the food court, and texting Sam, and Castiel was lost in thoughts.

During the meal, Castiel had begun to feel that odd pressure in his lower abdomen, like he had this morning. Immediately dread and embarrassment filled him. Oh no, not again. He’d hoped that this would maybe only be a once a day thing, but apparently his body had other ideas; also the glass of apple juice and cup of coke that he was currently drinking had sped up the process.

He sighed quietly to himself and decided to ignore it for now, hoping it may just go away and he could delay the moment when he’d have to tell Dean.  However he definitely wasn’t going to let it get to the point it was at last time, because now he knew how it felt when he was desperate, so he’d make sure he went before that happened.

Oblivious to Castiel’s worries, Dean finished up his meal and looked over to the other man, “You ready to go?” Castiel had also finished eating and nodded, prompting Dean to take their tray and throw their trash away.

Castiel stood up and the feeling seemed to get worse and he gave the softest whimper to himself. He hated this so much, but he would be fine, they were going back to the bunker now, he could wait until they were back there and he had privacy.

“Are we leaving, now?” he asked Dean hopefully and Dean shook his head, making Castiel’s heart sink.

“We still need to get you some shoes. I want to get you a good pair of boots, every hunter needs some.” Dean smiled and Castiel forced one back, trying to be grateful.

“Oh alright, thank you.” He replied softly then followed Dean as he located a shoe store then walked to it with him.

Once there, Castiel discovered he didn’t know his shoe size, and the size in the shoes he was currently wearing had worn out, so he had to try on multiple pairs of boots in an attempt to find out, before Dean finally suggested he get his feet measured.

As time ticked on and Castiel’s feet were measured, after waiting for a staff member to become available, the feeling got worse and worse until Castiel was bouncing his leg as he tried on shoes, his hands sweaty and twitching anxiously.

At last they found a pair of brown boots that fit comfortably and Dean took the box over to the cash register to pay for them. As he did that, Castiel put his shoes back on then slowly stood up and couldn’t help but bend his knees a bit as he did as the pressure seemed to double, and he visibly winced a bit.

However despite this growing urgency, Castiel forced himself upright and he walked over to meet Dean by the register, telling himself he was fine and just had to wait a bit longer.

Dean, unaware that anything was wrong, smiled as he handed the bag to Castiel, who was holding two other bags from the other store. “Thank you, Dean.” He said quietly, appreciative despite wanting to leave as soon as possible.

“No problem Cas.” They left the store with Castiel walking a bit slowly as his bladder throbbed with every footfall.

Maybe he wouldn’t be able to wait.

“Are we going to the bunker, now?” he asked, the slightest hint of desperation in his voice which made Dean raise a questioning eyebrow but he didn’t comment on it.

“Yep. I’ve just got to find the exit.” He chuckled but Castiel didn’t laugh. The longer it took for them to find the exit, the less and less likely it was becoming that he’d be able to wait until they got back, and the only thing that could be worse than having an accident in a gas station, would be having one in the Impala.

Castiel said nothing as they headed for the exit, making a few wrong turns but nothing major, but the pressure wasn’t getting any better and by the time they approached the open area by the exit with the benches and fountains, he was waddling a bit. But when he heard the fountains, he suddenly knew he couldn’t wait.

Immediately the man stopped walking and crossed his legs tightly together, holding the bags slightly in front of him to hide this action as his face flushed with embarrassment. He hated this, hated it. Why couldn’t his body just wait til they returned to the bunker?!

Dean noticed Castel suddenly stop walking and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, “You okay, Cas?”

Castiel only blushed deeper and stared down at his shoes, trying to find it within himself to hold on just a bit longer, but he knew he wouldn’t survive the 20 minute car journey and make it home dry.

“I-I…I…I need…t-to…to…usetherestroom.” He mumbled very quietly, so it was drowned out by the fountains.

Dean frowned, “Speak up a bit, Cas.”

Castiel sighed and kept staring at the floor, “I need to…to…use…the restroom.” He slouched his shoulders as if trying to make himself disappear. This was so embarrassing.

“Oh.” Castiel’s actions were now obvious to Dean, who wasn’t bothered at all by the situation, “Y’know what, I could probably go too, come on, there are some right there.” He pointed to a sign just a few feet from them.

Silently, Castiel breathed a sigh of relief. Thank goodness they were nearby, he wasn’t sure if he could have taken it if they had to go far. However he still struggled and had to stop a few times on the way there, his face growing ever warmer.

Dean, completely unfazed by the situation, led the uncomfortable man to the male restrooms. Unaware of how clueless Castiel really was, he headed straight for the urinals without saying anything else.

Castiel just stood near the sinks, confused as he stared at the odd contraptions. The bathroom in the gas station hadn’t looked like this. What was he supposed to do?

Dean was just about to pull down his fly, when he noticed Castiel just standing there, shuffling uncomfortably in place, “What are you waiting for?”

The man looked around the bathroom awkwardly, noticing a man drying his hands and all the stalls were locked, indicating they were occupied. He moved closer to Dean so no one else would hear and quietly mumbled, “I..I…don’t…don’t know how.”

Dean was about to ask what he meant, when it quickly became clear and his own cheeks turned a bit pink, “Oh…well that’s okay Cas. Just come stand next to me.”

Castiel did not like the idea of being so close to Dean whilst this happened, but he followed his instructions, standing at the urinal beside him; there were dividers between them but Castiel was still very uncomfortable.

“Alright, now unzip your fly.” Dean instructed, then when Castiel looked confused he added, “The zip on your pants.”

“Oh.” Castiel unzipped it and felt the pressure lessen very slightly as it was no longer pushing on his bladder. His need was still urgent though and he muttered, “Please hurry with the explanation, Dean.” As he continued to avoid eye contact with the hunter.

Dean bit his lip, blushing a bit more and keeping his eyes strictly in his area, “Now take your…you-know-what out of your pants.” He heard Castiel moving beside him as he took out his own penis, and his mind drifted to the fact that Castiel was standing right beside him with his penis out and he froze as he felt himself starting to harden slightly.

Fuck, this could not happen right now, not in a public bathroom.

He tried not to panic and thought of savory things, just like he had in the department store. He exhaled as he softened after a few moments, cursing internally at himself. Why was he so horny today? He was lucky he had ‘plans’ tonight or he may go crazy from all the teasing his body had had this afternoon.

Dean was so absorbed in dealing with his own issue, that he hadn’t realized that he’d left Castiel hanging on what to do next.

He only realized when he heard Castiel whimper, “Dean, please tell me what to do next. It…It really hurts.” Castiel didn’t mention the fact that little dribbles were beginning to emerge from his penis as his control started to wane the longer he waited.

The hunter turned slightly and saw quickly how uncomfortable Castiel was, both physically and emotionally, and there was clear panic on his face.

“Sorry Cas. Now you just relax. That’s all there is to it, just make sure you’re pointing into the urinal or you’ll make a mess.” Dean instructed and quickly followed his own instructions, relieving himself instantly.

The rest of the steps had been easy, but this one was not.  It seemed relaxing had the opposite effect, he seemed to just dry up. Castiel grunted in aggravation and tried again. He became very aware of the other people in the bathroom and his face and ears heated up, and now he felt like he no longer wanted to go at all, but the pressure was still there.

Dean had long finished, and was zipping up when he noticed Castiel stood there, frozen, “You okay?” he asked, respecting Castiel’s privacy and not looking over the barrier.

Castiel turned to him slightly, a look of confusion, embarrassment and desperation on his face, “No I…I can’t go…” he didn’t know what was wrong with him.

It was hard for Dean not to chuckle a bit as he realized that Castiel probably had stage fright because of the presence of him and the other men in the bathroom, “You’re just too tense because you’re overthinking it. Just relax, think about something soothing.”

The man took a deep breath and tried to do just that, but just as he was beginning to relax and he felt the pressure beginning to lessen, a sudden gruff voice behind him growled, “Hurry up there, I need to piss.” Immediately Castiel’s stream stopped and he winced in pain as his body tried to continue but he just couldn’t. He froze again, refusing to look at the man as he blushed brightly. There was no way he could go with this man here.

Dean noticed the problem and turned to the man, “I’m done, you can go there.” He said as he flushed then moved away and the man just grunted and went to the other urinal.

Now the man was no longer breathing down Castiel’s neck, but he was still there, and the ex-angel really struggled with the knowledge that the man was right beside him. He could maybe handle Dean being beside him, but not some stranger with a gruff voice and biker jacket.

“Cas, it’s okay. Ignore him.” Dean said softly, sensing Castiel’s distress. He really didn’t know what to do to help the man, because it was all mental, all he could do was try to get the man to relax.

But Dean’s words didn’t do anything, and it was only when the scary man left the bathroom, that Castiel was finally able to finish, letting out a rather loud sigh of relief as he pressure went away completely. He shook himself off then zipped up again, flushing and heading straight for the sinks in silence.

Dean followed him and washed his own hands, glancing at the other man and seeing how embarrassed he was, “Cas, I went over this last time, you don’t need to be embarrassed about this stuff with me. I understand this is all new and awkward and hard, I’m here to help you not judge you, understand?”

Castiel stared down at his hands until Dean spoke, and he forced himself to look at the hunter with a quiet nod, not feeling much better but he was glad they were going back to the bunker now, so he could be in his room by himself for a bit where he couldn’t embarrass himself.

“Alright then, let's go home."

The pair finished washing their hands and left the bathroom, got into the Impala and headed for the bunker.


	7. Thrown out in the rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean heads off for his 'date' with the waitress but not all goes according to plan.  
> (Sorry this one is quite short, the next chapter will be quite long so I wanted to put this part in a separate chapter. Also I hope what happens in this chapter makes up for its shortness)  
> *Warning for almost-sex*

Once they had returned to the bunker, Castiel had gone to his room and put away his new things, changed into some jeans that fit, put his soiled clothing in the wash and retrieved his old clothes which were now clean and he immediately put his trench coat on. Meanwhile Dean had begun to cook some dinner for the three of them; Sam had been researching all day while they were shopping.

The trio ate dinner with conversation about what Dean and Castiel did at the mall, Dean telling Sam all about what happened; leaving out the bathroom parts as he knew Castiel didn’t want Sam to know about that.

After dinner Dean checked his watch and headed to his bedroom to get ready for his ‘date’. He put on some cologne, which he knew girls liked, shaved and gelled his hair, as well as brushing his teeth. While Dean was in there, Sam entered and asked what he was doing.

“I got a ‘date’ tonight with a waitress.” He gave a wink and Sam immediately knew what ‘date’ meant in this circumstance.

“Oh...well...have fun I guess. But be careful on the drive, I heard there’s supposed to be a storm tonight.” Sam replied, and then left the bathroom.

Castiel had been hanging about in the hallway that whole time, feeling unsure of what to do with himself. He never had free time, so he didn’t know what to do, especially if Dean was going to be gone. He was quiet until Dean exited the bathroom and Dean stopped and smiled at him, “Wish me luck.”

“Good luck…” Castiel mumbled, sniffing and smiling the slightest bit at Dean’s cologne, wow it smelt good, also Dean looked particularly good tonight and it hurt him that the reason he looked this way was because he was going to go have sex with some waitress. His smiled faded but luckily Dean had left by that point, walking down the hallway whistling cheerfully. Castiel sighed to himself and retreated to his room to try and find something to do.

Dean headed for his bedroom where he grabbed a small bag and inside he packed condoms, lube, his gun, holy water, and his angel blade. All forms of protection, should he need them. Then from his room, he went to the garage where he got into baby and texted the waitress.

‘I’m ready, tell me where you’re at.’

She responded barely a minute later with an address and Dean set off, making a brief pit stop at a gas station where he picked up some cheap flowers, wanting to make a good impression, despite not being all that attracted to the girl other than physically.

It was around 8:30 when he arrived at her house, as she lived a bit further than the diner he and Castiel had gone to earlier. He was feeling a mix of nerves and excitement as he turned off the Impala, got out and locked it. He then went to the front door where he knocked, holding the flowers behind his back, the bag slung over his shoulder.

The waitress opened the door a minute later, dressed in rather racy lingerie that made Dean gulp a bit as he smiled at her and held the flowers out.

She smiled and took them, “Aww so sweet. Come on in green eyes.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him inside. While she was finding a vase for the flowers, Dean took a quick glance around her house.

It was your basic house, nothing fancy which made sense seeing as she was working as a waitress, which he couldn’t imagine paid well. But it was nice enough, Dean wasn’t exactly one to judge, he’d lived in some pretty awful places before.

The girl, whose name was Rachel, had finished putting the flowers away and without warning she grabbed Dean’s bag, “What you got in here huh? Some toys?” she smiled and Dean tried to grab it back in a panic, not wanting her to see the weapons in there or she may freak. But it was too late.

However he didn’t get the reaction he’d expected. Instead of screaming or punching him, a sly look appeared on her face as she looked to Dean, “Ooh you’re into that, are you? It just so happens that I am too.”

Dean gulped again, but not in a good way this time. Oddly enough he was not into BDSM. The years of actual torture and getting tied up had made it more scarring than enjoyable, and the idea of having to do it made Dean nervous. But what else could he say? If he denied that he had them for those reasons, she’d know they were actually there to be used as weapons and then she’d probably call the cops, so he had to just go with it.

He forced a smile and shrug, “Perfect. I got previsions too.” he gestured to the lube and condoms and Rachel smiled more.

“You’re so thoughtful, most men don’t bother.” She edged closer to Dean and dropped the bag, sliding a hand round his waist and kissing him. Dean began to relax and he kissed back, briefly noting Rachel’s blue eyes, before his own eyes slid closed in enjoyment.

Very quickly the kissing become a bit rougher as Rachel pushed him against the wall by the door, and began to tug at his hair slightly. A low growl emitted from Dean’s throat as he also began to get more heated, his hands sliding up and down Rachel’s body, lingering on her ass and giving it a squeeze.

Rachel gave a gasp and broke away, grinning mischievously at Dean, “Oh you sneaky devil.” Her fingers then moved to Dean’s shirt and began to pull it over his head, and Dean began to remove Rachel’s lingerie top, feeling his mouth become dry as he did. Damn.

Rachel’s hands then moved to Dean’s pants and he emitted a soft whimper as her hand slid over his already sensitive crotch. She grinned again and as she pulled his pants off, she made sure to give a few more teasing strokes that had Dean whining at the teasing.

“This is unfair.” He grumbled in a fake annoyed way, trying hard to ignore his rising arousal. Rachel chuckled, “Not sorry.” And grabbed his arm, pulling him to the bed and soon they were making out again with Dean being pushed down into the bed by Rachel. That was how Dean liked it; he was quite the sub which was odd considering his dominating personality.

The two moved together, still remaining in their undergarments for the moment as they got more and more heated. The pleasure began to mess with Dean’s head, and every time she came down on him, and he saw her dark hair and blue eyes, he couldn’t help but think of Castiel.

It was the weirdest thing and at first Dean was disturbed but he quickly got lost in that fantasy, which inexplicably made him even more turned on. He imagined Cas’ scruff scratching at his face as they made out, their bodies fitting together perfectly as his beautiful blue eyes stared in his. His moaning was quiet at first, the name barely a whisper on his tongue but as the passion built and built, Dean became unable to contain himself and eventually it came out rather loudly, “Cas!”

Rachel broke away immediately and looked down at Dean with a frown, “What did you just say?”

Dean’s brain finally caught up with him and he stared at Rachel in horror of what he’d just said, his face burning with embarrassment at not only moaning another person’s name while making out, but it being Cas’ name of all things. His best friend, who was practically like a brother to him. What the hell had he been thinking?

“I uh…I…uh…nothing.” Was all he could get out, not really sure of what to say.

Rachel got off of him and Dean sat up too, his groin protesting as he still needed taking care of, but that probably wasn’t going to happen now.

“That name sounds familiar…” the pause while she tried to figure it out was unberable, and Dean prayed that she wouldn’t figure it out, but she did and recoiled in disgust.

“Ewww, that’s your trench coat friend from the diner! You’re a fag?!”

Dean felt his stomach clench with a mixture of anger and shame at the declaration, “No…it’s not like that, I wasn’t thinking-“ he attempted to explain, beginning to rise and reach for her but Rachel cut him off with a slap across the face which sent him sprawling onto the bed.

“How could you lead me on like that, you douchebag!”

The hunter let out a sigh, a mix of anger, shame and frustration flowing through him, “I didn’t lead you on, Rachel please. I’m not gay.” That was true, he wasn’t. He was Bi, but she didn’t need to know that. It was something he’d only recently become comfortable admitting to himself, so he was not about to tell a practical stranger.

But despite Dean’s protests, Rachel wasn’t having any of it, “I want you to leave.” She picked up Dean’s pants and shirt from the floor and instead of handing them to him, she opened the door, threw them outside and then shoved Dean out too, along with his bag and shoes, “Have fun in the storm.” She sang then slammed the door shut.

Dean shuddered as the cold night air and icy rain whipped at his bare skin, leaving him freezing cold as he hurried to pull on his clothes. Sam had been right, there was definitely a storm brewing; it was raining cats and dogs and he could hear the odd distant rumble in the dark sky.

“Brilliant, fucking brilliant.” He muttered to himself as he proceeded to get sprayed with rain as he tried to pull his pants on, which was very hard with an erection. He was so glad that Rachel lived in a quiet neighbourhood where everyone was in their homes with their blinds shut. The last thing he needed after this humiliation was for someone to see him like this.

Eventually Dean managed to pull his pants on but it was very uncomfortable, and he groaned as his body continued to beg for pleasure. This really sucked.

The hunter grabbed his bag and headed for the Impala, getting in and sighing, resting his head against the headrest as he thought about what had happened.

Why the hell had he moaned Cas’ name?

Rachel had looked quite a lot like Cas, blue eyes and dark hair, but Dean had been with plenty of women that looked like that, and he’d never done something like this.

His mouth grew dry as he thought about the other possible reason. He was attracted to Cas? There was really no other explanation. He had thought about Cas during almost-sex and liked it.

He banged his head on the steering wheel, "Oh God."


	8. Thunder Cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean returns from his unsuccessful hook-up and finds Cas in quite a state due to the thunderstorm.  
> Comfort and cuteness ensues, especially when the power goes out.  
> (Sorry Dean may seem a bit ooc in this chapter but I needed this)

Dean really had no idea what else to do, so he just drove back to the Bunker after dealing with his little…problem.

Throughout the drive, thoughts of Cas and why the hell he’d thought about him like that kept flying through his head; they seemed impossible to banish. However Sam had been right about the storm, and that offered a distraction from what had happened.

“Damn.” He muttered to himself as he saw a fork of lightning flash across the sky, pushing his foot on the gas a bit heavier. He wasn’t afraid of thunderstorms but he didn’t exactly want to get caught outside in one; the storms in Texas could get pretty brutal.

Dean arrived back at the bunker just as the storm appeared to be getting worse; the thunder got louder and more frequent, the rain was heavier, and the lightning flashes were getting more common. He drove the Impala into the garage and shut it, letting out a breath of relief that he was now out of the storm. He got out, locked the Impala back up and did the walk of shame back inside, wet and disheartened.

Sam looked up as Dean trudged in, raising an eyebrow, “Dean? I know you like quick hookups, but this is…quite short.”

Dean sighed as he was caught before he could sneak away to his room and dry off, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

A smirk formed on Sam’s face, “Did she stand you up?” he found it amusing.

“No…anyway I said I don’t want to talk about it.” Dean grumbled, his face reddening slightly and he turned away.

“Was she really bad?”

“Shut up Sam!” Dean yelled, losing his temper as Sam kept bothering him, which made the younger Winchester fall quiet immediately.

“Sorry Dean…” he mumbled in apology, his eyes downcast. He may be an adult, but he still felt that childish sense of guilt and fear when Dean yelled at him, because it was not a common occurrence.

Dean saw that puppy dog look and sighed, “No, I’m sorry for being a dick. I just…it was complicated. Long story short it didn’t work out, she kicked me out into the rain in just my boxers and now I’m cold, wet and sexually frustrated.”

Sam looked up and chuckled at Dean’s words then made a face, “Eww tmi dude.”

“You asked.” Dean shrugged, “Where’s Cas by the way?” he couldn’t see him anywhere in the library; he’d assumed he’d stay with Sam when he was gone.

It was Sam’s turn to shrug, “Not sure. I haven’t seen him since you left. He might be in his room.”

Dean found that a bit odd. Cas was not the type of person to sit alone in his room, but then again maybe he wanted a break from people.  It made sense, he’d been bombarded with constant company since he became human. The guy probably want some alone time.

However, despite this thought, Dean wanted to check on him just to make sure he was okay. So he went to his room, put away his ‘supplies’ and changed his clothes, before walking to Cas’ room.

“Cas, you in there, buddy?” he asked through the door as he knocked, wanting to warn Cas before entering incase he was doing anything…private. Dean wouldn’t judge, now he was human, Cas would probably have more of a sex drive than as an angel.

Dean’s mouth grew dry as he thought about that and he quickly pushed the thoughts away.

Stop it! Cas is your best friend, you cannot think about him like that, he told himself firmly.

There was no response for a moment, and Dean was about to go and search other parts of the bunker, when a soft voice answered, “Y-yeah I’m in here.”

Dean frowned slightly at how odd Castiel’s voice sounded. It sounded so quiet and almost scared sounding, which was definitely not like Cas. He entered the room, unsure of what state he may find the man in, but he was just sitting on his bed reading, looking fine.

The hunter closed the door behind himself, and walked towards Castiel, sitting on the bed beside him, “Whatcha reading?” he asked, not caring all that much but he just wanted to talk to the man.

Castiel looked up, his expression looking relatively normal but he appeared to be quite twitchy, “U-uh…it’s just the Bible…nothing y-you’d fine inter-resting.” He showed the cover to Dean before appearing to turn back to reading.

Dean furrowed his eyebrows. Cas was definitely acting odd.

“You alright, Cas? You’re acting a bit…jumpy.”

Castiel’s face appeared to pinken slightly, and he looked a bit embarrassed, “Y-yeah…I’m…fine.” His voice squeaked a little at the end of his sentence.

Dean knew almost instantly that his friend was lying. It was obvious from his shaky voice, and nervous body language, “Cas, I know you’re lying. Tell me what’s up. I promised I wouldn’t judge you, remember?”

The ex-angel looked up shyly from the Bible, looking incredibly tense, and avoiding eye contact with Dean, “I’m not lying!” he insisted, however Dean noticed that when there was a rumble of thunder outside from the storm, Castiel’s grip on the Bible tightened.

It didn’t take long to put two and two together.

“Cas, are you afraid of the storm?” the words were said gently and without too much accusation, in order to make the man feel more comfortable confessing to him.

It seemed to work as after denying it firmly, Castiel paused then nodded very slightly, “It’s…It’s stupid…I know…don’t worry I’ll be fine…” however the brief flash of fear that went across Castiel’s face told a different story.

Dean reached over and gently set a hand on Castiel’s shoulder, “Cas stop, it’s not stupid. You’re human now and all humans have fears, okay? If anyone has a stupid fear, it’s Sam. He’s scared of clowns for goodness sake.” He smiled slightly, trying to make the man feel a bit better, “But if it makes you feel better, the storm can’t hurt you inside, especially considering we’re underground. We’ re probably in one of the safest places to be during a storm.”

Castiel seemed to relax very slightly at Dean’s words, reassured a little bit, “I know…that’s why it’s illogical but…hearing I’m not the only one makes me feel a bit better.”

“Outta boy, you’ll be fine.” He gave Castiel a firm pat on the back, sure that this was over with, when suddenly the lights went out, plunging the bedroom into darkness. **(Ignore how this is pretty much impossible cause of the generators and stuff, just let it be cute).**

Dean wasn’t very fazed by the suddenly darkness, but it seemed Castiel was very not okay with it as he suddenly felt a hand grip his arm with a vice tight grip, “Hey Cas, it’s okay. The power just went out cause of the storm.” He assured, fumbling for his phone to use for light, and cursing as he found that it was dead, “Son of a bitch. Okay um…I’m gonna have to somehow find some candles that we can light.” He moved to get off the bed but was stopped by that clinging hand which only gripped tighter, cutting off his circulation slightly.

“Dean…please…please don’t leave me alone.” Begged a soft, fearful voice which Dean would never have believed belonged to Castiel unless he’d heard it himself.

Dean’s heart broke slightly, and he became almost grateful that his hookup had ended early, otherwise he wouldn’t have been here to help Cas right now.

“Alright, Alright. I’m here, okay?” he gently rubbed Castiel’s shoulder with his free hand, “But I need to find a source of light-“ he stopped as suddenly a very loud clap of thunder made the bunker shake, and in turn made the man beside him shake too.

Along with the shaking came a very quiet whimper, which squeezed Dean’s heart, and with confidence given by the darkness, he extracted his arm from Castiel’s grip and draped it over the shoulders of the ex-angel.

“It’s okay Cas, calm down.” He assured softly, gulping as he felt Castiel lean into his arm, feeling his heart rate speed up, and it had nothing to do with the storm.

Now it seemed Dean had no choice, they’d just have to wait out the storm in the dark, “Do you mind if we don’t get candles, Cas?”

There was a prolonged silence along with a slight movement from the other man, making Dean believe he was making a head motion, “If you’re motioning with your head, I can’t see you, you dork.” He chuckled slightly.

“Sorry…I…I shook my head…I don’t mind.” came the shaky response.

“Alright then.”

Dean just sat there for a few minutes, listening to the storm and feeling Castiel’s warmth pressed into his side. If Cas wasn’t scared to death, this might have been quite nice; He personally found storms relaxing, and having Cas so close to him was definitely something he wouldn’t object to.

There was a minute or so that passed where there was no thunder, and Dean felt Castiel relaxing slightly next to him. However a loud rumble of thunder soon broke that, and the man tensed up again, curling even more into Dean’s hold.

Dean tried not to internally die as he gently rubbed Castiel’s back and held him close with his arm, “Shh it’s alright.” He murmured as Castiel whimpered again.

This process went on for half an hour, until Dean and Castiel was practically cuddling. Castiel just kept edging closer and closer, until he was lying with his head on Dean’s chest, and his body encircled with Dean’s arms. Dean was internally screaming, trying to resist the urge to squeeze him even tighter and press their lips together.

The storm got more and more distant, resulting in the thunder getting softer and softer until it finally had passed.

Dean exhaled in relief and turned to Castiel, “Cas, the storm is over.” He informed him quietly, tapping his shoulder.

However all he got in response was a murmur and soft snore, indicating that the man had fallen asleep.

Dean smiled a bit. He couldn’t see Cas right now, but he bet he looked freakin adorable all asleep and curled up on his chest. God he wanted this to happen more often.

At that last thought, Dean gulped. That was an unusual thought, but it was oddly true, which made Dean feel…confused.

“Sleepy angel.” He murmured affectionately to himself, finding himself running his fingers gently through Castiel’s hair without even thinking about it.

It was weird but in the dark, with no one able to see him and judge him for his actions, Dean felt freer in his emotions, and currently all he wanted to do was smother Cas with affection. Which is what he did, despite the other being asleep.

Dean held Cas closer than he ever would dare in daylight, and pretty much snuggled the ex-angel, feeling a great sense of comfort and happiness at the closeness. He felt his eyes beginning to get heavy, and he told himself he’d head to bed soon, not wanting to fall asleep here and be found like this by Cas tomorrow.

However Dean was so warm and comfortable, and comforted, and without meaning to, he had closed his eyes and fallen asleep in seconds.


End file.
